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Shout out to u/sprinkydinks73 for requesting this review. Much like MS, I guess I am just a sucker validation from strangers on the internet. So here is a long rambling about her relationship with C that she has somehow deemed general relationship advice.
MS sets the tone by screeching, "#nofilteramIright?!" She loves Instagram filters though, and will probably always use them because she thinks they're fun. Over a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, MS started reminiscing about how far her relationship with C has come and therefore decided she wants to do a "relationship advice" style live today. She gives a rough TL of their relationship: First date in 2017, became bf/gf in 2018. But 2020-21 was the first full year they've gone without breaking up. She acknowledges maybe she shouldn't be the one giving relationship advice, in part because she doesn't like speaking on C's behalf and putting everything out into the open since he's not really a social media guy. But this is about advice of course, not strictly the intimate details of her relationship, right? Wrong. She proceeds to tell us her and C broke up in July 2017, and New Years of 2019, and then got back together last January. So today she's going to tell us what made her relationship work so well this year because they've been BFFs lately. She jokes she would much rather talk about shitting her pants than her relationship.
Now Ms proceeds to talk at length and in detail about her relationship. Previously, MS had felt very insecure in her relationship with C for various reasons. After high school, C went to a big state school and was in a frat, meanwhile during that parallel time in her life MS was in her first marriage before getting divorced in 2014. After that, she went on a self-described 'wild phase. She also always assumed sorority girls were hoes, which is lovely. According to her, she had strict parents and for example, wasn't allowed to wear nail polish until high school. She later admits she was wild in high school, but not that wild because all she did was sneak out and go to parties and have a few beers and smoke weed. So it sounds like her parents maybe weren't so unreasonable after all. She always wanted to be a cheerleader but her parents said no, only because you "should not cheer for someone else, you should have people cheering for you!" So she did ballet instead. And if she was going to college she had to be there on a sports scholarship or be there to "pursue an education", and she was never good enough at any sport to get a scholarship. And I guess she just didn't care to pursue an education instead. Her sister did however get a soccer scholarship. after she got divorced then she went on a real crazy phase while she was waitressing and drinking/smoking a lot after work.
C was apparently really popular in his frat, and he was a flywheel instructor at the time so he was in really good shape back then. So a bunch of gorgeous college girls would take his class. And so when they first got together, she was insecure about the fact that C had female friends because she never really had guy friends. All the guys she met would either want to date her or sleep with her appearance. She's a total girl's girl, who doesn't really have guy friends. There was one girl who lived in the area, and something in her 'gut' told her something was going on. So she would cry, and go through his phone all the time, and part of the reason they broke up the second time was that he was tired of her doing that. He didn't feel like she trusted him, and she kept violating his privacy. Nothing she found was under the category of cheating, she just found normal exchanges between him and his female friends. Her last bf before C was what she calls 'protective' and would frequently look through her phone, but she "knew she wasn't cheating so it was never an issue". This is a really toxic mindset. Anyways, this female friend in question would invite C out places, and then if he mentioned MS was coming along with them the friend would allegedly cancel the plans last minute. She would then talk all this trash about C's friend and how ugly and terrible she is. Then they'd get into a fight because C would defend his friend and tell her to not be so insecure. Eventually, they sat down and decided to tell C's friend that she needs to learn to deal with MS coming out with them sometimes because they're together now. And the friend allegedly said sometimes MS made her feel insecure because MS is just such a badass. She admits she felt that the friend had an 'agenda', not that she necessarily wanted to be with C but that the friend wanted C to break up with MS.
She then goes "shit! he's about to walk in the door. when he walks in we're going to pretend to be talking about something else". Apparently, C doesn't like being put on blast to all her followers! C comes in and says hey, and she goes "Hi baby" and he leaves the room. She then resumes talking about their relationship just as loudly as before. She was just being this 'too cool' aloof girl, and C wanted her to communicate with him more. But she doesn't go through his phone anymore, because he got a new phone and changed his password to a 6 digit one. She's so confident, but she has issues with men because of her relationship with her dad and her ex-BF who cheated on her. Except when her dad gives her rent and purse money, then they're good. But she reminds us she still watches C's Instagram feed, and if she sees any hot girls on his feed he makes him unfollow them.
Anyway, her main relationship tips are communication, setting your boundaries, being able to banter together. C tells her a lot she can't take a joke, because he will make the smallest criticism in jest and MS will get really mad right away and say something actually mean back. But she never takes anything she reads online seriously though guys! The biggest change this time around for her and C was "wanting it" more. Usually, as soon as they fight, MS will shut down and say he's done with the relationship without talking about it at all. And now MS has realized life without C sucks, so the fights are worth choosing to talk through. Wow, imagine that. Also, apparently, guys are just not smart, or at least they just don't think about what women want and fail to compliment them as much as they want. So now she tells C "give me a compliment" or "I need attention". She then reads some comments and mentions she and C make date night a priority, and they always go out Sundays after church. Not sure about this one, I've seen her go to church maybe 3 times the past few months. But they do eat out a LOT. And they eat dinner together every night and try to do fun activities, like tonight they're going to an ax-throwing place tonight. I am imagining a picture of her holding an ax later tonight with a caption about strong women/female empowerment. She ended up not going to the casino because she didn't know how the weather would be, but she's going to go have a date night with C and play pool. She signs off by blowing a kiss to the camera, and saying she will save the live because she hopes everyone will find it "insightful"

We (34m and 25f) were fwbs for over 2 years and have been in a committed relationship for about 2 month, I’m in the process of moving to her city so we can be together.
Today she told me she was having dinner with a friend. When she’s vague like that I know it’s most likely an ex fwb, else she would tell me who it is and where they’re going. anyways I didn’t ask much and in general I fully support both of us having alone time and personal space with our friends (even if it’s an ex fwb). She told me she was going to be home before 8 and again around 7:45 saying she’ll be home shortly after getting boba, i texted her at 9:30 after she was still not home to say good night since I had work early tmr and it was 10:30 for me.
She texted me around 10 after seeing my text
At this point I told her I didn’t know what to think when she said be back before 8 and simply went to bed at 9:30 when I still didn’t hear back.
She said they ended up hanging out at the casino (shops in there)a bit and got boba since she didn’t her from me. She asked if I was upset.
I asked who she went to dinner with and where did they go
She tells me it’s an ex fwb who she hasn’t seen in a while, he knows she has a bf now and they’re just friends hanging out. They went to Joes seafood prime steak and stone crab in Ceasars palace in vegas and he paid for the meal.
I’ll be honest it’s been a while since dated someone in a committed relationship and I do not think it’s appropriate for your gf to be going out on fancy dinners 1:1 with an ex fwb (who she says it’s just some one she used to fuck and now wants to be friend with) I don’t think shes cheating on me I simply think she’s playing with fire. looking for some advice on how to deal with this situation.

So, I said I would write a post on this, here it is. The title was partly to get you interested and partly a little cheeky throwback to the bad old days when u/plucky26 went off meds…
Anyhow, this is a longish post about FA and TA so scroll to the TLDR if reading isn’t your thing, or ignore it. Or if you know more about it than me put a comment in…
FA: FA attempts to measure the intrinsic/inherent value of a stonk. You can do this a lot of ways but what your working out is whether the SP represents undeover value or fair value. A lot goes into FA, but if you want a basic cheat sheet then here it is: - What does the company do?

• Who runs the company?
  
• What direction are they heading?
  
• Where have they come from?
  
• How do they stack up against the competition?
  
• What are the other economic/social/political factors that impact their future?
  

These are the 6 basic questions you need to answer when trying to arrive at a conclusion. So, how do we get answers?
Reading mutha fuckers, reading……
You need to read and understand the product. That’s the answer to question 1. What do these fucks actually do, does anyone care, doe they make tendies?
The answer to question 2 is probably the most undervalued thing in FA IMHO. People, more than products, leave a legacy they transport form place to place. DO NOT DISREGARD THIS STEP…
If old mate is about to get bent over by the Feds for embezzlement, or his wife’s BF has filed a claim against him for watching them through the window, or if he has bankrupted the last 6 places he went then this will impact the SP once its out.
Working out where they are heading runs parallel to the SP more than you might think. The market, in a broader context, is future based. There isn’t a shortcut around this step, its reading, reading reading bitches….
Although Stonk history tells you a story, its more useful for seeing what they have come up against in the past and how the SP reacted to it. What made it Dip, what made it rocket? What is the ROI? And more, all this historical shit gives you a template but not a guaranteed direction.
Question 5 and 6 are where you start to delve into the nuts and bolts. P/E ratio’s, cash runways, market index rankings per sector and all the snooze button shit that hides the details. Im not going to describe what all this is, DR Google is smarter than me and I’m a few stubbies in already so I might lose track of what the fuck I am saying.
Here is a great link https://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/fundamentalanalysis.asp
At the heart of FA is whether you believe the narrative the numbers and words tell you.
IMHO if your only interested in FA, then avoid micro caps.
0.03c - 0.05c SP and a $300 -$500 SP is the same % difference but a world apart in the ability of a Stonk to fluctuate under their market cap and FA just doesn’t give you the type of info you need to accurately make a profit within those margins on micros.
(Happy to be proven wrong on this if you think otherwise.)
That’s fucking great pal you might say, but fast forward to the part where it gets me on the rocket ship before it blasts off….
Ok, well here is a clue. If you have read this far and your already impatient or scrolling down to the TLDR, FA might not be your particular brand of vodka.
So lets get into the occult, the witchcraft that is TA….
TA: Being technically anal is actually easier than you might think.
TA is about trends, historical data and volumes. Sure its about more shit than that but it also kind of isn’t.
Its basically saying this stonk already has a template and I can predict where it will go next if I understand that template.
When stonk go up, what does the chart look like?
When stonk go down, what does chart look like?
Yes, it involves funny squiggly lines and colors.
You’ll also come across all sort of stuff like golden (showers) crosses, cups and handles, head and shoulders, descending triangles and other weird phrases but all they are really doing is describing a pattern.
And patterns are predictable once you can see them.
I am tempted to get super into these patterns, but this post is already long so here is a link: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/t/technical-analysis-of-stocks-and-trends.asp#:~:text=Technical%20analysis%20is%20the%20study,data%2C%20including%20price%20and%20volume.&text=The%20two%20most%20common%20forms,needed%20to%20make%20a%20profit.
If you a commsex user, then send a tendie to chief Tom because as an avid reader of ASX_Bets he has clearly been up to the R&D spooks over there and told them to improve the graphs on the app.
You can’t do the super technical stuff, but go backwards over any of last weeks rockets (CRO, HYD and some of the smaller cap ones) and go to the 1 day, 5 day and 1 month graphs respectively.
Click on the chart style indicator (the funny line that looks like the ‘Stonks only go up symbol’) and change it to candlesticks. This gives you indicative buy/sell data in pretty colors so its easier to work out.
Then look at the uppelower indicators, you can change it to show you volume, price tracking lines, Bollinger etc..
Have I lost you yet? That’s ok…
Zoom out the 3 month charts with the same settings and OMG, a pattern emerges….
Zoom out again to 6 months, another pattern…
Zoom back in, heres that funny old pattern again…
But wait you say, this stonk keeps hitting a certain point on the graph, then those red columns get huge and it stays there or bounces down again.
Hello resistance line, hello seller volume, hello traders with pre determined exit points. These guys are not super interested in the FA or the intrinsic value of a long term hold, they are interested in making the 5/10/15% what-the-fuck-ever percent and bouncing out.
Hold the fuck on, when it hits a different level those green dildo’s start popping out in the bottom graph and it stays there for a bit then heads up again…. Aloha support level…
Just go look at Zippy with the above parameters on commsex app, youll see exactly what short sellers, swing traders and the like see….
Fair warning: going backwards on the app helps you to recognize patterns but to do the proper witchcraft TA you need the proper tools and programs
Yes matey you’ll be saying again, very interesting but how the fuck does this get me on the rocket ship before blast off?
Well IMHO, there are 3 ways to board the rocket.
1: You have a mate who tells you or they post it somewhere.
2: You jump on after blast off and play the gambling game, freaking out when it dips and missing all your sweet tendies or pretending diamond hands are the only way and watching it dump then losing all your tendies, or bag holding forever. Or you get lucky and pop out at a high, but TBH your really only gambling (someone please comment ‘Sir, this is a casino, I love that shit 😊)
3: You do both of these methods.

• FA alerts you to the stonk. You do the reading and think it’s a winner.

-TA sets your entry point so you board before take off and exit before crash landing.

• FA helps you determine whether it’s a good hold as its got the legs to break multiple resistance levels over time
  
• TA helps you recognize the famous P&D and set an exit point to bail before you become the proud owner of a piece of shit.
  

Both methods have their role.
Yes you can use OBV and Fibbo numners to scan for potential like I do sometimes, but that’s a whole other spectrum of TA and its already past bedtime.
FA IMHO is better generally for Mid/Large cap because they are generally less volatile and FA has seasons where its super useful (Earnings months etc…) TA is better for bouncy bounce plays on micros and mid/large.
But don’t go neglecting either at any time, TA tells you things the FA misses and vice versa.
You can always subscribe to a service that does this for you. Intellegent investor is good-ish, so is wallet investor. Motley fuckwit has some ok picks sometimes but gets the fuckin dick from me because they just don’t stop with the fucking propaganda….
Disclosure: Generally the posts on here do ok, but you gotta know when to get off… Unless your planning to holder forever like uncle Wazza, but that just doesn’t seem to be the vibe here…
For what its worth , (before you all tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about) I have posted about 3 stonks on here in the last few months. (admittedly I shit-post a lot too…)
AFG, which went up 18% 2 days after the post, then dumped and has dribbled ever since but if you’re a long holder you’ll do OK and… EDIT: up another 3.19% after this post...
ICU, which is a micro and went up 15.5% the day after the post. Both were the result of FA/TA combination and both delivered tendies of the succulent variety. EDIT: ICU went up a further 52% 2 days since posting then retraced a touch...
OPY which went from an open of 3.14 up to a high of 4.80 the next day, a 52.8% raise then leveled out around the 3.70’s EDIT: up another 13.7% since this post...
Sorry about the long post, I got finished washing the wifes BF’s car early and he let me have the WIFI password…
TLDR: Gamble if you want or learn some shit and make tendies…
Edit: some really good comments below. I have made far more $$ by choosing good Stonks and holding them over the years than I have ever made day trading.
FA is my primary method for choosing and accounts for probably 75% of my decision making and TA fills the gaps to help maximize profit making.

This year has been a doozy.
Last November, I got with my current boyfriend. He makes me feel things that I have never felt before; he is a wonderful person. He has his moments and quirks, but at the end of all of it he is a good man.
A little backstory: We worked together in a casino; I was in the bank and he was in the surveillance - zero fraternizing on his end. His most recent ex of three years worked in the casino as well as a bar tender - she started to date a pit boss. My BF and his ex got together when she was married saying she was in the middle of a divorce from him. Things went sour when she cheated on my BF with that pit boss.
I was single and he was single, we talked to each other on the phone all of the time for years since we were OGs of this casino when it was open. Just how the universe was, we got along and fell in love. Shortly after, I found out I was pregnant. My BF always wanted kids; as a teenager he was told by countless drs that he wasn’t able to. My birth control failed because I was taking antibiotics for strep throat, and the stars aligned that night. My baby is a miracle. We were keeping our relationship on the DL because of his department, I was planning on leaving the company because I couldn’t take it there any longer and he enjoyed his job.
My BF is trying to be friendly with his ex, she has 4 kids that he helped take care of - he wanted to be a father figure for them and be in their lives. His ex popped back up in the middle of January, a few weeks after we found out I was pregnant. She said she made a mistake getting with the pit boss, he was controlling and nothing like how he was in the beginning, and wanted to be with my BF again. He told his ex about me and how I was pregnant, that he was happy and not going back to her. She didn’t like that one bit and told her pit boss boyfriend.
Some time passed, I was having problems with my placenta detaching itself so I had to take it easy, so we told our managers that we were expecting - we didn’t go into details and we kept everything work cordial while we were at work. Things were getting squirrelly with the ex and her new bf. She came into my department and said to people I worked with that I was pregnant and my bf was someone in surveillance - just trying to start some drama. Then she was going to her new BF saying my BF was trying to get back together and all this other stuff. Just stirring the pot.
I won’t get into the ex’s dirty laundry but my BF was done, he couldn’t take the drama so he didn’t want to try to be friendly with her any longer. I was done with the two as well, we are all 30+ and this is just pettiness I didn’t want to be apart of.
We found out we were having a boy when I was 17 weeks.
Then the state shut down in March - that put a damper on finding a new job. I was grateful because I was home resting, while my BF still had to go in to watch the empty building. The extra pandemic money helped get necessities for the baby and getting a nest egg squared away - I wasn’t planning on having a baby shower, because of the pandemic and because I really didn’t want people to know I was pregnant. At the time my manager, my mom, and his family knew.
I had to go back to work in June and I was getting nervous. About the virus, working with the public, about being pregnant, just a lot going on. And I was angry, I forgot how badly the casino took a toll on me mentally and I was still job hunting. By then, the ex was starting her drama again. The pit boss bf was still in the picture and he would threaten my BF for talking to his ex - saying he better stay away before he does something.
Then in August when I was 9 months, the pit boss went to HR and told them we have been dating, we were both terminated for breaking policy and procedures for not telling HR we were together. I hated that place, I had it planned out I just wasn’t going back after giving birth. Shitty yes, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I was promised I would be on an earlier shift after I give birth for better luck finding a baby sitter, but my manager back peddled the closer my due date got.
When I first found out I was pregnant I applied for state insurance and WIC; which I am glad I did. My water broke on September 1st, my due date, and my son arrived September 2nd I still was under my old work’s insurance. Took a very large load off my mind.
I’ve always struggled with depression - I got diagnosed with PPD shortly after birth, which I had a feeling would happen. I have been seeing a therapist and I am on antidepressants - I am terrified. I feel hopeless, I have thoughts of killing myself, I find myself starting at a wall for hours on end, and I am terrified of using the utilities to have the bills go up.
We have been filing for unemployment since August but we haven’t seen or heard from anything about receiving it, we are getting the run around trying to find out what is happening. I applied for help from the state, my mortgage, water, electric, and gas is covered. We are receiving WIC and food stamps, but it doesn’t cover the car, it’s insurance or credit card bills. The nest egg we made is running out and I am afraid I am going to lose our car.
Now it is December, we have a 3 month old son who is perfect. I make sure he is taken care of, but I am struggling everyday with my emotions and needs. I am trying to be hopeful. I tell myself everything has a way of working out, but it is hard. I am home with my son, I won’t get these early moments back with him and I am grateful I am experiencing them, especially since I really don’t want him to go to a new environment with this virus. Still no unemployment, still having a Hell of a time finding a job, my BF got a state job that he is in the middle of getting screened for, so things are looking up.
I keep thinking everyone would be better off without me. That I am a disappointment and a failure, and I am so tired.

i’m going to be very vague to protect the identity of this person because i still care about him and love him very deeply..so fast forward 8 months into the relationship..one night i fell asleep early in the evening and i woke up around 10 pm. so i call my bf and find out he’s at the casino. He’s 20 and i’m 17 so at the time i freak out like holy shit he’s gonna hook up with other women. long story short i text my ex, nothing flirty just a hi how are you my night is shitty..i needed a friend to talk to. my bf comes to my house and he finds out i was texting me ex and it results in violence..he had never been a violent person i had never really seen him that angry. so we couldn’t see each other anymore because he went to jail then he was bailed out and we would secretly still talk and ‘be together’. i honestly thought we could make it work, i loved him. i still love him and i was and always will be willing to do anything for him. so in november (2019) my coworker had been trying to flirt with me for a while and i ended up finally having a moment of weakness and my bf found out in march.. so fast forward now to december 2020 and i found out this kid has a gf! he’s still the love of my life and no matter what guys i talk to i can never forget about him. i feel i have to tell him how i feel but everything ended so messy. how can he think me cheating is worse then him physically hurting me? which i wouldn’t have cheated if we could see each other which we couldn’t because he hurt me. but i forgive him and i want to move for award with him and fix things maybe not right now but sometime in the future. what should i do?? i know most of you will say that he hurt me and to not contact him but nothing will change the way i feel about him. has anyone ever been stuck on someone for years and regretted not contacting them? life is too short i feel, especially these days

Title. Finally making the pilgrimage there.

I'm 33yo, separated for 6years, met my husband when I was 23, ex husband was a gambler, 2 cars sold to pay for his debt in casino, lost our house and businesses he would beat the hell out of me whenever possible, got me good one time, broke my ribs, eyes shut with broken nose and lips. We had 1 kid, boy, 9yo. My ex husband was my first bf, first sex, first all. So I'm naive when it comes to relationship. I successfully got myself out of previous marriage, stayed with my parents - blessed to have them, got back on my feet, got a new apartment, focused on my son, spending my time at work, good career and making good money. This has been the case for 5years then I met my bf, we've been together for a year and half, I was like, okay, give yourself another chance on this space.
Few days after our first date, he lost his job, so I assisted him financially, I am financially stable and money is not a problem so he moved in to my apartment (my parents are well off, my son is their world, he stays with my parents outside town so it is just the two of us in my apartment), showered him with love, gifts, moral support and all) then he finally confessed that he hs 3 kids from prev. Relationship (he found out that the mother of the kids decided to be a prostitute after their third child was born, but all three kids stays with his ex, so I am trying really hard to make him feel that he deserve to be happy and not all girls cheat). I was shocked but then I love him and would do anything to make it work.
He's a good guy, calm, intelligent, he couldn't keep his hands off of me until he got a job in April, everything changed, he's not dependent on my anymore, he doesn't say he loves me, he rarely compliments me, he would play hours playing video games. I feel ugly, i hate myself because I don't feel beautiful, and so on. I asked friends and they say that maybe he loves me but I'm not a priority. He's priority is games, work, anything and I am the least. I asked him if he plans to have child with me and he said, yes he wants a baby girl but I don't feel it is true because I know he doesn't want another responsibility, so I didn't insist, I am okay with us not to have kids. Jealous over girls on socmed, would say this to him: I wish you would give me flowers, I wish you would buy me a box of chocolates, I wish you would come to my office and just say Hi, I wish one day yoy post me on your facebook as your gf and be proud of me Litte things to make feel loved doesnt hurt but Everytime we have this conversation, he's like a kid with tantrums saying I am too needy, clingy etc. I started to question myself If I am an awful person or what I have been doing wrong. I am thicc, curvy, well to my friend's husbands words.. "I am a true beauty and a perfect figure of a woman" so I askrd myself thousand times, why does my bf doesnt want to have sex with me?
I hate myself, I don't know what to do, I feel I'm a failure, I tried all approach, told him, hey babe I miss being close to you, modest way, i tried, babe..please fck me, bought lingeries, kinky night dresses, i would massage him almost daily to get him into the mood. Compliment him, cook for him, literally everything, I would let him play games, eat, sleep, work because I dont want life to ve stressful to him and just to cross out stress as reason why he doesnt want to have sex with me Until I asked him if he wants to go to the doctor, i literrally couldnt remember the last time I saw him with a hard on. His penis is small (but I was like fck yeah) we could try other things, in almost 2years, I just heard him twice to give him a head but that was it, he would always cum before me and Im always left not satisfied, but still a year ago, sex would happen at least once or twice a month. NOW, IT HAS BEEN 2MONTHS with no sex, cuddle, pillow talk or even a kiss. We're WFH, no third party or whatsoever. I am typing this beside him, I want somebody to love me, fck me but I want it to be him. I have to be honest, I am losing hope and I want someone to take me and leave him.
How to tell him that I feel alone, that I am thinking of breaking up with him. I feel tha I have wasted years of my life with 2 people who doesnt care about me, i dont feel loved. I feel ugly. I just want a man who would love me, spend time with me, build a future with me, a home. Should I break up with him and be single forever?
Bf stopped having sex with me, I don't feel I'm loved and don't know how to say I am better off alone.
Few Clarifications.. IAPPARENTLY I AM NOT IN GOOD SHAPE SO PLS HELP. Received comments and messages. I appreciate. So I read your comments and let me answer those.

1. I have full custody of my son, the reason why he's staying with my parents because I am working at night (UK, overseas client around the world) on daytime I have to sleep and my son needs to go to school (now online at home) which I cannot attend to due to schedule, He has a nanny but nanny is 45yo, afraid to go around the city due to covid and she's high risk due to asthma. I would rather have them with my parents but I see him every weekend from City it is 2 hour drive, I would go home by Friday and leave Monday. When it's vacation, he's with me and stays in my apartment. So yes, I am juggling work, my son, live in bf and life and doing my best to be a responsible parent.
   
2. Yes he has three kids from previous relationship and I support them financially and being involved lately, I've been supporting all three kids and enrolled them to school, yes this has been the case for a year and a half. Also, since the mother Is not always around the 12F been messaging me a lot lately, I have witnessed her first menstruation and guide her, crushes and so on, so it's not just financially but everything I could offer. See them at least twice a month and go out with all three kids, dine and play.
   
3. Why am I helping those three kids? Because it's not their fault to have a prosti mom and irresponsible father. Is it true that the mom became prosti, yes, bec. apparently she wants money her ex my now bf cannot provide and she wants good sex lol
   
4. Am I earning enough to support three of his kids and mine? plus the two of us, yes more than enough, does he share rent or others? No. Am I stupid? Yes, I always think I have so much to give but maybe in a wrong way, IDK, please let me know. I work my ass off 5days a week and on call every time my client needs something so I need to be avail all the time, working while cooking, making bed etc you name it. If I would just support my son and myself then I would rather watch Netflix and drop the extra pay for being on call, but why am I doing this still? IDK, maybe I always want something for the kids and support them.
   
5. Why am I crying over lousy sex and a man who is dead beat? Because since I got separated from prev. marriage, I felt alone, so happen that he came, I thought if I do everything, he will love me but I guess I am wrong. All I want is someone who would take care of me as well, love me, that's it and by now you know that I will do everything that it takes to be responsible and be there for my son and his kids. And one more, I think I am ugly so it sounded like what matters most to me is SEX but NO, Relationship matters to me but I guess I thought he's in all along, but no.
   
6. Why did I let someone moved in after first date? I have so much to give, even friends I let them stay until they get back on their feet, so no, it's not just him that I helped. I don't need praises I need advice if I am plainly stupid and so good to be true, you need to help me because apparently I am excellent at work and failing at life.
   
7. Why did I ask him if he want a kid with me? Just thought of that, as mentioned, I am okay with us not to have kids.
   
8. What am I gonna do after this? I'll talk to him and break up with him.
   
9. How about the kids? IDK. yes they're not my responsibility, that's true. Hate it but I have to leave.
   
10. I feel stupid, I feel alone, with my ex husband, I suffered a lot, from having everything to I had nothing, paid all his debts etc, and NO if money does matter to me, I should've not supported those kids. RN, I am suffering again. Yes, these are all true. Real Life Struggles. I didn't plan in losing him but I guess I am better off alone and I have to stop trying to be happy. Thank you for all the love and support, I know I am depressed, I'm just trying to hide it, leaving bed is a challenge now, eating feels like a chore. I need a hug.
    

Cw: gaslighting, emotional abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation, drug use, threats of physical violence, coercion into sex
Background information: I'm a trans man, grey-asexual, and polyamorous. My ex-husband struggles with psychosis.
I've been trying to write this post for about a month now. I just don't know how to start or anything. I'm confused and heartbroken and I never thought I would be at this point with my ex-husband because I never realized how completely awful he was until his facade blew up in his face.
When I met my ex, I was still in a relationship with a previous boyfriend. Our relationship was polyamorous, so it wasn't like I was cheating, but I definitely went about things the wrong way. My ex-bf was dealing with suicidal thoughts and a nasty depressive episode that I didn't know how to help him through and our relationship was suffering. I was down in my own depression and self-harming as often as I could get time by myself. See, we'd just been evicted from our apartment because I lost my job, and we were living in the storage room of one of his friends. It was hard times. There were 12 other people in the house because his friend offered help to anyone who was homeless. Everyone in the house used some form of drug or alcohol.
Well, my now ex-husband was friends with ex-bf's friend and came over to visit. We hit it off pretty well. We had a lot in common and could talk for hours. Tbh, ex-bf encouraged the attraction and pulled away from me emotionally. I was lonely. Ex-bf started telling me that he was going to kill himself. I decided that I wasn't going to deal with his mental illness anymore and broke up with him. He said that if I went through with the break up then his suicide would be my fault. I packed my bags and moved in with ex-husband and MIL, after dating for only a month. Ex-bf never killed himself, and I haven't spoken to him since.
Things were going really well with ex-husband. He was looking for a job and I was very welcome in his mother's home. I communicated with him that I'd like to be monogamous for a while so I could recover from my previous relationship. He agreed.
I wasn't pressured into looking for a job right away as things were fairly stable and it was agreed upon that I should focus on my mental health and get clean from my self-harming and drugs.
Well, while I was getting clean, over the course of about a year, my ex-h and MIL started going to the casino and gambling. A lot. Ex-h decided that he was going to stop taking his psychiatric medication. He didn't have a negative reaction to going off his pills and all seemed okay. I didn't know the extent of ex-h's mental illness until I saw it first hand.
Ex-H was off his meds for 8 months when he had a total psychotic meltdown. He didn't recognize me all of a sudden and was treating me like an intruder in his house. He threatened to kill me with a baseball bat. We spent a few days in and out of the ER while the doctors kept telling us there was nothing they could do for him. He continued to get more and more physically aggressive until it ended with him assaulting his mother. The police were called. He went to jail. He was gone for 3 months. He got back on his meds and started feeling well enough that the judge let him out of jail.
He came back different. I was determined to make our relationship work because I didn't want him to feel alone in his mind. I didn't want to be the person that always left their partners when they were in the midst of mental trauma, so, without really knowing what to do, I forged ahead. I would not let my unwillingness to deal with other people's mental illness destroy another relationship. Besides, he was with me the entire time I was detoxing and that wasn't fun for anybody.
All of a sudden though, polyamory was on his mind with a vengeance. He needed to be poly. He started telling me that he needed more sex, and because I had a low sex drive it was only fair for me to let him look for it elsewhere. I resisted because it made me uncomfortable. He started pushing me to have more sex with him. I let him talk me into way more sex than I was comfortable with. It wasn't fun and was often painful.
He started telling me that he needed to sleep with someone who had a real penis. I wasn't born a man, and he needed real flesh and blood inside of him. He told me that he was going to start cheating on me unless I gave him what he wanted. I didn't know what to do, and I had no place to go if I left him, and I couldn't break up with him and still live in the same house. Fear of homelessness forced me to give in.
I only asked that I didn't want details of his sex life and that he used protection. Well, he never told me anything at all. I often didn't know where he was because he was off having sex, or he was at the casino with his mother. He stopped looking for a job and started focusing on tinder and grindr. I was often left at home to do all the chores in order to keep the house running. I struggled to find a job without a car or experience under my belt. I started babysitting for the neighbors. I started using marijuana as a way to cope.
And then the worst case scenario happened: MIL gambled away her mortgage payments. The house went into foreclosure after a few months of non-payment.
For the next few years, my ex-h and I moved from place to place, trying to keep our heads above the water. He stopped helping with the chores completely, citing his depression as a reason he couldn't help me. For a while, the three of us lived in the back room of the folks I babysat for. I found a real job (finally!) And we got kicked out of the back room because they no longer had a free babysitter.
Ex-h and I moved into his father's basement. MIL found a room for rent. Almost immediately ex-h was butting heads with his stepmother, who was asking for him to do chores since he didn't have a job. He refused to help or show her any respect at all because she was the reason his parents divorced and why he didn't have a relationship with his father. I kept going to work and kept doing all of the chores, and he kept having casual sex with strangers and arguing with his stepmother.
I was too far gone with him though. I believed him when he said his psychosis was the reason he had trouble finding work and wanted to help keep him from getting too stressed. I was afraid of what might happen if his psychosis started getting bad again.
Finally everything came to a head. He called his stepmother a whore and his father gave him two days to get out. I could stay, he could not. He was able to find a home with his aunt in a town four hours away.
On the night before he left he... went for a tinder hookup. I was furious. I didn't know when I was going to see him again and he blew me off for a stranger. And, the icing on the shit cake, he started telling me about how he was doing sexual things with this strange girl that he'd previously told me that he was never willing to do ever. I flipped out on him.
In all honesty, it was my idea to get married. I told him I needed him to prove that he was committed to me and that was a huge mistake. I never should have pushed for it, but I was blinded by his lies and wanted to believe he could be better.
He moved to the town with his aunt. I focused on working and found an apartment with his mother. He moved back.
And... nothing at all changed. He didn't stop having hookups, he never helped with the chores, he didn't look for a job, and he hid behind his mental illness to get out of it all. And I bought it, just like before. Except, now his mother was back in the picture, and he was gambling again. Except, now we were married.
The apartment lasted 4 months before his mother started gambling away her half of the rent. The eviction notice was not a surprise.
This time, we moved in with an acquaintance of his. A former hookup turned friend and her partner. His mother moved back to the room she was renting before.
The new roommate started analyzing our relationship and asking me questions. Laser-guided questions that made me too uncomfortably aware of how awful I was being treated. How he was using me, and how I was being willfully ignorant to it all because I was afraid of letting the relationship fail.
And she was so calm and gentle with me. Pulling me out of my self-imposed hell to face the truth at my feet. I cried on her a lot. "He can be better," she told me, "we will push him to be better." And we came up with a plan to get him to better himself, to push him towards self-improvement, and to get him to be a decent member of society and an actual husband to me.
Yet... it all sounded good on paper. To push him into improving himself involved making him see how he was abusing me. He dug his heels in and clung to his easy life and refused to get a job and refused to understand that he had been hurting me for years. He didn't want to be better. He wanted the path of least resistance, even at the cost of continuing to hurt me.
I started spending more and more time with my new roommate. And I ended up falling in love with her. Technically, I was in an open marriage, right? And she and her partner were also poly. I consulted my husband and he encouraged me to pursue a sexual relationship with her.
My relationship with my husband deteriorated in the face of how my girlfriend treated me. She was so open with communication that it was blindsiding. She was sweet and calm and gentle and suddenly she was the adult partnership that I was unable to have with my husband. I was suddenly and painfully aware of what an adult relationship was supposed to be, and in the face of a properly healthy love, my husband fell very short.
My husband was furious with jealousy and started trying to break us up. Not only did he not want me to date ever again, he wanted to have my girlfriend for himself and started trying to get her partner to also break up with her. I was unaware of these plots of his.
Then I had a mental breakdown. I ended up in a mental hospital.
This is where my ex-husband's facade falls away completely. When I got home from the hospital, he seemed to struggle to show anything but contempt towards me and my problems. Before he had always just been a man troubled by psychosis and depression, someone who couldn't properly take care of himself and needed me to hold him together, despite his emotional stuntedness that hurt me repeatedly. I always believed that he meant well, even when he didn't understand how he hurt me.
No, suddenly he was a jealous harbinger, an asshole from the depths of hell that refused to let me have happiness with someone else. I was his caretaker and he expected me to act like it. Exhaustion from my breakdown made me apathetic towards his tantrums. I told him repeatedly that I would talk to him when he learned how to act like an adult.
I don't know what he was thinking, but he told me one morning that he wasn't sexually attracted to me anymore. I responded by ending our marriage. Somehow that upset him. I think he wanted me to chase him until he changed his mind about me being attractive to him.
He continued to live with us for another month, trying to get me to take him back or at the very least to be his caretaker again. He kept trying to get my girlfriend to pay attention to him. He kept trying to get my girlfriend's partner to leave the picture entirely.
It ended with an intense screaming match where I basically told him that I had been waiting for him and encouraging him to do right by me (or even to do right by himself) for half of our relationship but he repeatedly took the low road because it was easier. He walked out, saying he'd rather be dead than contribute to this household and he moved into the tiny bedroom that his mother is renting. My girlfriend even prevented him from killing himself, even as he was screaming at her that she was a soulless monster that only cared about herself.
I haven't heard from him since that night. I am now in a very open and communicative polycule relationship with a girlfriend that is so sweet and loving that I wake up feeling blessed every day. I'm friends with her other partner and I am learning how to exist in a real, loving partnership. Its all very strange, but I am thankful for the journey that brought me to this moment. However, I would definitely not do it all a second time.