On mobile TL/DR at end.
A little background first. Before I came to my senses and changed course, I worked as a sailor on a petroleum carrier. One of the many duties a sailor has is keeping the vessel from turning into a large iron ore deposit on the sea floor. To do this, there is a tool called a needle scaler. It’s a pneumatic device that consists of a a bunch of 7-12 inch long 1/16 inch thick round “needles” and a “hammer” that impacts the base of the needles causing them to have a reciprocal action all housed in a chunk of steel and weighing in at about 5 pounds. It will easily break apart most rust and can punch through thin steel with ease. This will be important later.
I worked with a dude, let’s call him Joe, that probably ran out of fucks somewhere in the 1970’s. He complained constantly and was a real pleasure to work with pain in the ass. The captain we had at the time was also a pleasure to work with pain in the ass who you never wanted to catch you slacking off, as the ass chewing he delivered would make a Marine blush. So we busted ass when he was onboard or he’d make our lives hell. We had hydraulic mooring winches that were welded to the deck plating on top of the cargo tanks. They were poorly designed and would retain a lot of sea water at their base. So there was a ton of rust around the base that Captain Asshat took offense to.
The MC. He ordered me and Joe to chip away the rust and then prime and paint at the base of the winches. Joe said the rust is really thick and likely he’d end up breaching the tank. He also pointed out that in two months we’d be in shipyard for a refit and it wouldn’t matter if we busted through into the tanks there, so the job should probably wait. So Capt Asshat started cussing us both out, me because I backed up Joe as I felt he had an excellent point and Joe because he’s been out of fucks longer than some adults have been alive. The captain said do it it get the fuck off his boat(be fired). So like good deckies we obeyed.
I took the aft most (rearward for you land lubbers) winch while Joe went at the worse one in the middle. He went to town and after only 45 minutes he comes to get me. He’d punched 7 large and 4 small holes into the #4 and #5 cargo tanks (the winch straddled them). Good news was we’re were empty and had last carried asphalt, so not much in the way of hazardous gasses. Bad news was we were due to load in 14 hours all the tanks to their max with No. 6 oil, which doesn’t like sea water and has a lot of hydrogen sulfide in it. So I get the honor of waking the old man and get abuse hurled at me all the way to the winch. There’s no way we can safely load cargo with so many large deck penetrations. We had to call the company and the customer to inform them we couldn’t load. So we sat at anchor offshore until a shipyard berth could be found.
All in all, it cost the company about $130000 in lost time and repair charges. They had to pay for another company to take the load, which I don’t know the cost of, but my vessels daily rate for the entire shebang was $30k so it was probably around that. Turns out that the company was going to cut the winches off in the next shipyard and replace them with electric models, which would have involved removing the deck plating and adding reinforcement for the heavier units. Captain Asshat knew this, but didn’t tell us. So if Captain Asshat had A) listened to Joe and B) not been obsessed with giving us busy work, he would have got his bonus that year and not a reaming from the Port Captain and port Engineer from our company.
TL/DR If the Captain had listened to his deck crew about the vessel condition he wouldn’t have lost his bonus and got chewed out.
Edit: Fixed the tilde issue. Also, thanks for the awards! Since some wondered, she was a 30 year old 16000 ton tramper. The captain kept his job since it was hard for management to get fired and it was a relatively small fuck up as these things go. They had guys working for the company that took out bridges and barges that weren’t fired until the Coast Guard pulled their license.

Note: I was technically supposed to post this earlier this week, but noticed that no one was signed up for today (plus I was super busy earlier), so I'm posting a bit late, under a throwaway account! Fair warning: I'm VERY verbose, so this will be long!
Section One: Assets and Debt
As I mentioned above, I make $56k per year as an administrator in higher education. My husband (K) just got a raise to making $155k per year. He works as a lawyer, has been in the workforce for about 12 years. I won't get into too many details but he works for a small boutique firm, not Biglaw. He also sometimes gets a yearly bonus of around $10k-20k but it's not guaranteed or anything like that. K and I have totally combined finances, so the below numbers are for both of us. I have a humanities PhD but I decided to leave academia and find an alt-ac job. My current position has good work-life balance (I never work past 5 pm), but pays terribly and my university is very badly run. I'm hoping to leave higher education all together in the future and am currently enrolled in a certificate program to try to make a career transition to instructional design.
The big elephant in the room is that my husband, K, makes a lot more money than me. When we first met, he was paying off massive amounts of student loans and making much less, and I was debt free with a lot of savings, so we both spent about the same amount. Now he makes 3x what I make and we are both debt-free, so the difference is much more noticeable. We do argue about money sometimes (more in the past), but the reality is that I have a humanities PhD and will likely never out earn him, and he knew that when I married him, lol. Because of all the labor I do around the house and in our lives to support him as he works a much more intense job, I was very clear that I believed we should split our finances equally as soon as we got married. We don't have separate accounts and we generally check in with one another whenever we are planning to spend more than $100. This system works for us for now.
I also want to address the question about parental or family support. Although I technically paid all of my own bills since I got my Bachelor's degree, my parents supported me a lot by paying for my flights home to visit at Christmas or in the summer as Xmas presents/birthday presents. My parents also paid for my undergraduate degree (and K's parents paid for his undergraduate degree as well). They also gave us about $15k to pay for our wedding.
Finally, my parents recently gave me $20k as an "early inheritance." They told me they plan to do this every year (depending on the stock market). We put this money into a brokerage. I don't consider my parents rich, as they both worked hourly jobs in health care my entire life (as a nurse and respiratory therapist - both with only associate's degrees). We never owned a new car, when we went on vacation we stayed in hostels , and shopped almost exclusively at Goodwill. But they scrimped and saved and now they have over $1 million in a retirement account. So I want to acknowledge my financial privilege in that I came from this kind of background. K's parents are similar.
Retirement Balance: $186k (combination of 401k, 403b, 457, 2 Roth IRAs, and taxable brokerage account).
Equity: None, we rent.
Savings account balance: Approximately $45k.
Checking account balance: Right now, around 8k.
Credit card debt: Right now, around $3k. But we pay it off each month with our checking account balance.
Student loan debt: $0. We finally paid off my husband’s law school loans (around $130k), last year. I didn’t have any student loans from undergrad (parents paid) and my MA & PhD were fully funded.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I’ve been working in my current field for 3 years. I started off making about $53k and got tiny 2% “merit increases” twice. Then in July my payroll title was changed, which triggered a required raise of about $2k. (I am dramatically underpaid).
Before my current position, I was in academia. I worked as a visiting assistant professor for one year at my alma mater (made $50k for 9 months of work) and before that I was a graduate student for 7 years. I was paid $18k-21k in stipends each year and my tuition & benefits were covered. Luckily, I lived in a very low cost of living area and this was enough for me to live on without going into debt. I got my PhD in 2017. Before I was a graduate student, I taught English in Japan for three years and made around $36k per year. In high school and college, I had random jobs that provided grocery/spending money, but I was lucky enough to have parents that paid my tuition and my rent in college.
I’m currently trying to make a career change (as you will see in my diary) and enrolled in a certificate program which runs from Autumn 2020 to Spring 2021 in order to help with that.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $7,634. This probably seems low relative to our joint income, but we max out our 401k (K) and 403b (me). I work for the state government, which means I’m also eligible for something called a Deferred Compensation Plan (457b). This is basically the same as a 401k but you can withdraw contributions and gains from the account at any age without penalty (of course, you still have to pay taxes). I also max this out, and the limit is the same as a 401k/403b - $19.5k. Also this number is before K’s raise is accounted for. It won’t increase until his end of February paycheck.
Other deductions - I have health insurance taken out (about $80 a month for me, K’s firm covers his premiums) and taxes. WA has no state taxes, so it’s only federal taxes. I used to have to pay $50 / month for a bus pass (K's was free), but I don’t pay any longer because I’m working from home during COVID.
Final note - the sum I mentioned in the headline includes a variable bonus my husband gets. My base pay is $56k and his is $155k (as of February 1). This year he also got a bonus of $20k, which is set up a bit strangely. About $4k of this was structured as a 3% matching contribution to his 401k and the rest was taxable income. In small law firms, it’s unusual to get any 401k match so this was nice.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: None.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: We get some interest from our savings account… like $25 a month.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: Rent comes to approximately $2,050 total for a one-bedroom apartment. Rent itself is $1886, then we have pet rent ($25 per month), bicycle parking ($15 a month) and water / sewage / gas, which is usually $120-150 (variable cost).
Renters insurance: $157.76, paid annually. $13 a month.
Retirement contribution: In addition to the 401k, 403b, and 457, which all come out before taxes, we max out our Roth IRAs. That means $500 each per month per person (for a yearly total of $6k each). As I noted up top, we match out our 401k and 403b (19,500 each) and our 457. My employee also offers a 7.5% match. K's employee offers a 3% match but it is included in his yearly bonus so it's not guaranteed (confusing).
Savings contribution: We put $500 per month into our emergency fund. We also put about $860 a month into our “sinking fund,” which covers large and small annual or sporadic purchases such as vacations, gifts, Amazon Prime renewal, car insurance and renters insurance, etc.
Investment contribution: $875 per month into a taxable brokerage at Vanguard.
In total, we save about 47% of our gross income. We can do this because we keep our housing cost low relative to our high income, we don’t have any debt remaining, we don’t have any kids or parents who need financial support, and we’re very privileged in a lot of ways. We are hoping to FIRE within 10 years.
Debt payments: None.
Donations: We budget $100 per month for donations, which includes one-time donations as well as some reoccurring donations. My husband does pro bono work as well. I would like to increase this by quite a bit, but I still have a hard time budgeting for donations because I spent 7 years living on approximately $20k a year. To go from that to making more than 10x that amount within 3-4 years is obviously something that I am very privileged for, but it is still hard for me emotionally to comprehend at times.
Electric: ~$50-100 (billed every other month)
Wifi/Cable/Landline: An extortionate $87.12 for slow internet that only works for Zoom calls about half the time. Do I really live in one of the tech cities of the future?
Cellphone: $170 (This includes both service and paying off two new iPhones. We could have paid them off up front, but it was actually cheaper by like $50 to go on a payment plan.)
Subscriptions: BritBox ($7.70), Spotify ($16.50), HBOMax ($16.50), We Hate Movies Patreon (my favorite podcast - $8.81). My parents pay for Netflix and my sister pays for Hulu, and we all share.
Gym membership: None. K and I both run and do yoga with YouTube videos. Before the pandemic, we went to yoga classes pretty frequently in person. I’d like to do some online synchronous yoga classes but find it hard to make time.
Pet expenses: Varies, but I budget $50 per month and also include an emergency fund for my cat’s vet bills in our sinking fund. She’s 11 years old and probably asthmatic, so I know her vet bills are going to increase over time.
Car payment / insurance: We own our car outright. Insurance billed yearly is $2,097, about $174 per month.
Regular therapy: $0
Paid hobbies: Nothing regular, sporadic language classes and art supplies.
Other expenses: Right now I’m doing a certificate to hopefully help with a career change. The total cost for tuition is about $5k and we already saved it up (included in our 'sinking fund') basically through spending less during the pandemic. I’ve paid two quarters so far, and the last quarter (due in March) will be a bit more - about $2.3k.
__________
Day 1
Morning: I wake up at 5:30 am. Ever since the pandemic, my sleep schedule has been shot. At first, I was so happy not to have to leave the house at 7:15 for my 45 minute bus commute and I slept in a lot. But the stress (and maybe getting old?) has made me an early riser, no matter how much I try to sleep in. I do value my early mornings with just me, my cat, and my coffee, though.
I start work at 8 am and begin by triaging my emails. I have a bunch of deadlines this week, so it’s busier than usual. My job tends to be very seasonal, and sometimes I have a ton of work and sometimes I have none and can work on other longer-term projects. I have a piece of toast for breakfast and place a Whole Foods delivery order for the following day at 10:30 am. We made a meal plan and put everything in the cart the day before ($117.36, including tip).
Afternoon: I have my lunch break from noon to 1 pm. It doesn’t really matter when I take my lunch break, since I’m salaried, but the others in my office are hourly so in the before times we used to always close our office during the same time. I have a piece of leftover delivery pizza and some spinach risotto that I made a few days earlier. I also have half a brownie – the last one from a batch I made a few days ago (K gets the other half). He also has leftovers for lunch.
I should say at this point that both K and I are lucky enough to have been working almost entirely from home since early March. An area near Seattle was one of the first places to get hit by COVID-19, and my state and both of our employers have been taking it very seriously ever since. Working from home hasn’t always been easy since we live in a 600-square foot apartment. Also, there is a three-story townhouse being built directly next door to us and I can hear the pounding in my dreams at this point.
Around 2 pm, I go for a 2-mile run. I feel like some money diarists tend to toss off things like “oh, I went for an easy 7 mile run,” at the drop of a hat, so I want to be clear – running for 2 miles isn’t easy for me; it’s exhausting, annoying, sweaty, and generally gross. Also I am very slow. But it has kept me sane during quarantine.
Meanwhile, my husband goes to our local pet store to get an enzymatic cleaner (our cat peed in one of our suitcases… I think it’s probably a lost cause, but it was basically brand new, so worth a try) and special weight-loss cat food. Our cat is an 11-year-old rescue from the Humane Society and she is a chonky girl. We had to sign a waiver when we adopted her, saying that we understood that she was very overweight, lol. Our vet recommended a special diet food, rather than just restricting her intake as we have been doing, so we will give it a try ($78). My husband also stops buy our local wine store and picks up two bottles. We’ve been doing a dry January, so this will be our first drink for a while ($27.53).
I have a phone interview scheduled for 4 pm – just a preliminary interview with an internal recruiter. It’s the first ‘corporate’ job interview I’ve ever had, since I’ve been in academia my entire life. I’m trying to make a pivot into instructional design / training and development. I’m just excited to get an interview. It seems to go pretty well, but who knows. They tell me they will probably get back to me by the end of this week.
Evening: My husband whips up a random meal of fridge remnants – pesto pasta with sausage and a fridge salad with feta and bell peppers. It’s pretty tasty with a little Sauvignon Blanc. During dinner, we play a card game we call gin rummy, although it bears no resemblance to the actual game. After dinner, I make a chocolate cake with orange buttercream frosting and we watch Cobra Kai.
Daily total: $222.89
Day 2
Morning: Up early again, a piece of toast for breakfast (very exciting). We’re out of eggs until our Whole Foods order arrives. I’m working on creating some tedious but necessary spreadsheets this morning.
Noon: Our Whole Foods order arrives around noon. Excitement! They’ve given us a half-rotten bag of romaine lettuce and substituted pecans for hazelnuts. I should probably just double mask and go to Trader Joe’s myself (our regular spot, only a 5-minute walk from my apartment). I’m just getting anxious about these new variants.
I have leftover meatloaf and spinach risotto again for lunch. Lots of meetings and more organizing spreadsheets in the afternoon. Around 3 pm, I go for my daily ritual - a 20-minute walk around my neighborhood. It’s still raining slightly but I need to get out. Halfway through the walk, I get an email from my apartment manager telling me the apartment will no longer accept debit card payments, direct deposit, or credit card payments for paying rent. In other words, only checks or money orders (?!). Ugh. Our lease is up in 4 months and we will not be renewing our lease. Our last apartment manager was a gambling addict who may have been stealing people’s identities, but by God, he kept things working. Ever since they fired him, this place has been going downhill.
Evening: I check my bank statements to update my budget spreadsheet and realize that I have been billed the wrong amount of rent. They actually charged me less than they should have. I don’t trust my apartment manager not to start charging me a late fee or something for this, so I call them up. They are baffled by how to fix this, which you would think would be the one thing you would want to get right, if you’re renting out apartments.
K cooks dinner – steak with a Roquefort sauce and glazed brussels sprouts. It’s from a French cookbook we recently bought and it is delicious. I work on classwork for my certificate program while he cooks. After dinner, I do the dishes and buy the 13th season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I watch the first episode – lots of shocking twists and turns! I’m planning to watch the rest of the episodes together with my younger sister, M ($22.01).
Daily total: $22.01
Day 3
Morning: K has an 8 am dentist appointment, so he takes off early. He already paid for the work last month, so there’s no charge. I have a piece of toast for breakfast and get to work checking my emails. It’s 8:20 am and the construction crew building a townhouse next door is blasting mariachi music. I’m glad someone is having fun. At least the sun is coming out.
Someone at work has made a critical error, but it wasn’t me, thank God. I was the one who found out about it, but it’s still going to cause a big old headache for me. I’m ready to be done with this job. K and I go for a run so that I can exhaust myself enough to no longer be furious about said careless error.
Noon: I have leftover spinach risotto and meatloaf again – exciting. I’m busy at work but frankly, not a lot going on other than that. Still no word about fixing my rent payments. I’m not really willing to pursue this any further at this point.
Evening: I start making chili (Turkey Chili from the NY Times) and cornbread (from my new cookbook, Jubilee). K is doing some work on our investments when he announces that, somehow, a transfer was scheduled from our checking account to our savings account of $55k (?!) We obviously don’t have $55k in our checking account, so we start frantically trying to figure out what’s going on. Numerous phone calls later, we still don’t know if that was a hack, if my husband somehow mistakenly scheduled the transfer himself, or if the bank messed it up. Either way, it doesn’t seem like any harm was done since the bank with our checking account just declined the transaction. But it seems really strange and worrisome. We get to work changing the passwords on all of our accounts, just in case it was some kind of hack.
After dinner (and chocolate cake), I have a Zoom happy hour with a local friend. We occasionally see each other outside but it’s nice to have a longer chat from the comfort of our living rooms. We both love murder mysteries, so we signed up for a service where a company sends us letters with clues and we try to solve the mystery together. It’s a fun way to stay connected and look forward to something during the pandemic. The service costs about $15 per month, but I paid for it in lump sum for 3 months, so it’s not included in my budget above. I drink some wine and we vent about work (we work at the same place) before getting started on the puzzle.
Daily total: $0
Day 4
Morning: I sleep in a bit, which is nice. Get up around 7 am. My parents are both getting their 2nd vaccine today – they’re both in their 70s and I am so relieved. I send my mom a “congratulations on being vaccinated!” text and we chat for a bit. I have leftover cornbread with honey and butter for breakfast – soooo good.
Work is not particularly exciting today, but someone sends me a last-minute request for something that does not need to be so urgent. I feel annoyed. Still no word from the interviewers on Monday, and I’m beginning to suspect I wasn’t selected to move forward. Too bad. K pays for a Wordpress website for the year (it’s a work-related website, but sadly his work doesn’t reimburse him). It costs $92.48.
Noon: The mariachi music is particularly loud today. I stand out on my balcony in the sun for a while and watch the workers. It’s been interesting seeing a house go up next door in real time, especially since I’m at home all the time. The workers are balancing on the top of the third story wall without, as far as I can see, anything like a safety line. It seems unsafe, but I presume they know what they’re doing.
We booked a cabin for the upcoming weekend in the Hood Canal region of Washington to do some hiking and birdwatching. I want to be as safe as possible and not go to any grocery stores or risk spreading COVID in any way while I’m there, so I place another grocery order with Whole Foods just for some special treats for the weekend. The cabin has a small kitchen and a grill, so we’re planning to make a fancy steak salad on Saturday. I order chips and hummus, some fancy cheese and meats, Tate’s cookies (I’ve heard a lot of good things about these), a baguette, and the ingredients for the steak salad. I also order a few staples I forgot in our last order, like sweet potatoes, more coffee, and half and half. It comes to $87.41, including tip, but that does include like $30 worth of steak. For some reason, I can’t order a small amount of steak online, so I’m planning to freeze half of it for later. (I include this purchase in our vacation fund budget, rather than under our regular grocery budget).
Around 2 pm, K makes a quick trip to our local wine store to buy an Oregon pinot noir and some port to enjoy at the cabin ($59.45). This store has an outdoor walk-up counter where you can tell the owner what you’re looking for, and he brings you some options (the store is way too small to allow customers to enter during Covid). It’s fun to chat with another human being, even briefly.
Evening: After work, we spend a little time rebalancing our investing and retirement accounts. We decide to put more money into bonds and a little bit into REIT’s as a hedge against a potential crash or recession in the future. Then I start making dinner – Broken Eggs (Huevas Rotas) from the NY Times cooking site. You basically cook the potatoes in a skillet in water, spices, and olive oil, and then sauté them to crisp them up once the water evaporates. Then you add onion, lots of garlic, and finally some eggs. It is delicious. I eat it with leftover cornbread while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race season 13 with my sister – we watch the first two episodes. It’s full of twists and turns. A note about this – we have an elaborate procedure for watching shows together developed during quarantine whereby we start the show at the same with an earbud in one ear, while FaceTiming. I also have chocolate cake, of course.
Later, I get an email that I’ve signed up for HBO on Amazon Prime. I definitely have not. I text my mom, who shares my account, and she tells me she signed up by mistake. I cancel right away and luckily they won’t charge us for it.
Meanwhile, K is doing an online Japanese language class over Zoom. He’s been interested in learning ever since we went to Japan last January. I lived in Japan for 3 years so I was able to take us around to a lot of more obscure places and he really enjoyed the trip – it was a blast.
K starts a YouTube yoga class (from Do Yoga With Me – my favorite channel) and I join him for part of it before bed around 10 pm.
Daily total: $239.34
Day 5
Morning: I get up around 7 am and we go for a run first thing. I prefer running early in the morning because there are fewer people to avoid during COVID. We do a different route today – it’s longer (3 miles) but has fewer hills. It’s a slog, as always, but I feel good when I get back right around 8 am. I jump straight onto my computer to start checking work emails and my husband makes us avocado and egg toast for breakfast - it is absolutely delicious.
We talk about how our bathroom smells distinctly mildewy (yay for being a grown-up because I guess this is what we talk about now) and we buy two big buckets of DampRid on Amazon ($26.60). I’ve found this to be a necessity in Seattle. Mid-morning, I take a break from work and start packing for our trip to the cabin.
Noon: I have leftover potatoes and cornbread for lunch, and my husband has the leftover chili. We finish getting ready to leave and head out right after lunch, taking a half day. The only problem is that I have attend a meeting at 3:30 pm, so we head out hoping to get there in time. Our cabin is near Quilcene in the Hood Canal region of Washington, about a 2 hour drive or a 2 hour ferry ride + drive. We are initially planning to take the ferry both ways, but realize that we mistimed the ferry departure, so we drive the whole way instead. Luckily, there’s little traffic mid-day, and we arrive at our Airbnb around 3:00 pm.
The Airbnb is beautiful! It’s a small cabin handmade by the owner, whose house is next door. It’s very rural, with a beautiful view. It’s tiny, but has a little kitchen and a waterfall-style shower with river rocks on the floor. It’s a great place to get away for a short time. Luckily, it also has good reception and I’m able to sit in on my meeting with no problems. My husband also does a little work, and then at 5 pm we’re free!
In our planning, we decided to get takeout on Friday night, since the little kitchen isn’t designed for any serious cooking. We call ahead to a local restaurant to order burgers (one of only 2 restaurants in the whole town). It’s around 5:30 pm and the place is deserted. It’s a microbrewery, but they tell us they haven’t been making beer since COVID-19 hit. None of the workers are wearing masks when I walk in, but they put them on when they see I’m wearing one. I pick up our order - a few bottled beers and burgers and fries ($49.52 including tip).
Back at our Airbnb, we watch Big Trouble in Little China and enjoy our very messy, but delicious, burgers (it costs $4.39 to rent). The movie is very campy but fun. I love silly action movies, as you will see with my other viewing choices. We wrap up the night in a very exciting fashion, eating chocolate cake and watching old episodes of the original Star Trek.
Daily total: $80.51
Day 6
Morning & noon: When we wake up around 8 am, the weather is looking thankfully clear and even sunny! We were expecting rain, so we’re really glad. We decide to go hiking today, and we head out before even having breakfast, with snacks and lunches packed. Our first destination is a hike called Mt. Zion, but unfortunately, we run into enough snow 2 miles before the trailhead that we decide to turn back. We don’t have any traction for our Subaru and don’t want to risk getting stuck on a very narrow mountain road. Instead, we drive another hour or so to the Lena Lake trailhead, a very popular and less strenuous trail. It’s about 7.5 miles roundtrip with 1200 feet of elevation gain.
By this time, it’s around 11:30, but luckily there is still parking. It’s a great hike up, and we run into relatively few people. We always mask up whenever we pass anyone, as does about 50% of the people we meet. The others… not so much. Around a mile from the lake, we start to run into snow. It’s turned into a beautiful sunny day, and I’m loving seeing all this snow! It’s a bit slippery, but not too bad. We make it to the lake mid-day, and it’s super jammed – there’s only a small viewpoint accessible, so everyone is crowded in there. I feel a bit uneasy with all the unmasked people, but we manage to find a spot away from the crowd and sit down to eat our lunch of apples, chips, and energy bars. There are a ton of robber jays there (Canada Jays) which try to eat our chips. It is fun watching them, but I’m annoyed to see some kids feeding them – it’ll just make them that much more aggressive. Bad trail manners.
On our way back down, we get stuck behind a group of 5 unmasked adults, who refuse to cede the narrow trail to faster hikers. I’m a slow hiker myself, so, to be clear, I’m not angry at slower walkers being on the trail but have some self-awareness and let people pass! especially if you’re going to go hiking in a big group during a pandemic! We finally get back down and head back to our Airbnb.
Evening: Back home, we explore some of the trails our Airbnb host has set up around his extensive property, and then relax on the deck. The sun is breaking through the clouds and it feels wonderful to sit out in nature and feel the sun on my back. We open up a bottle of wine and have a few pre-dinner snacks (more chips and hummus). For this night, we brought ingredients to make a steak salad. Our Airbnb host has kindly set up a charcoal grill for us, so we grilled the steak and toast some bread on the side.
We eat dinner while watching the truly terrible Jean Claude Van Damme movie Bloodsport and finish up the very last of my chocolate cake. It’s amazing that anyone ever let Van Damme act… or should I say ‘act.’ I also have a Tate’s chocolate chip cookie or two, accompanied by a little port. My husband and I are truly very old people at heart, so we finish up the night watching a few episodes of Columbo.
Daily total: $0
Day 7
Morning: Unfortunately, K had insomnia last night, so he sleeps in pretty late. I drink coffee in bed and enjoy looking at the view out our big windows. Once he’s up, we get packed up and write a thank you note for our host. It was a great stay.
One of my big hobbies is birding and K enjoys wildlife photography, so we go out to look for some lifers! (The first time you see a new species of bird). Did I mention we are very old people in (relatively) young bodies? We first go to Dosewallips State Park and see some bald eagles, great blue herons, lots of various ducks, and a flock of Canada Geese, which, strangely, includes a domesticated gray goose. He’s much larger than the Canada Geese and seems to be watching over them. It’s kind of cute. Unfortunately, a lot of the birds are too far from shore to be seen clearly.
Our next stop is Point No Point (I love all the sad & disappointed names that early Westerner explorers gave places in the Washington/Oregon coast), a popular birding spot. We see a ton of birds here, and I can understand why it’s so well-known - Red-Breasted Mergansers, Western Grebes, Common Goldeneyes, Pacific Loons, and a few others I can’t identify yet. Most excitingly though, we see a whole pile of otters! They’re lounging around together on a rock just offshore and a ton of people are watching. We watch as they all slip off the rock and go hunting in the shore. It’s my first otter sighting in the wild, and it’s so cool! We also see some seals and possibly a sea lion. It’s a great spot for wildlife. We eat some snacks (hummus, chips, some sliced meat & cheese) before we head out.
I really want to come back to this area another time and explore further, but K has decided that we need to get back home in time for the Big Game. We take the 3:00 pm ferry back to Seattle ($16.40) and get home around 3:45 pm. I veg out at home while my husband watches football. He’s a Patriots fan but he still loves Tom Brady (??) so he’s happy to see Florida win. I don’t understand sports team loyalties at all, but whatever, I’m glad he’s happy. We order from a new Indian place called Spice Box and get vindaloo, roganjosh, and vegetables pakora – so tasty ($53.96). Happily, there’s enough left over for lunch the next day, since I have no plans for what we will eat yet!
I’m really dreading work the next day, as I know that it will be obnoxious. I want to get out of my job so badly, but it doesn’t look like I’m going on to the next interview stage for the job I interviewed no back on Monday. I’m feeling kind of down about it. I try to stay positive and promise that I’ll apply for at least 2-3 new jobs next week. I bake up some frozen cookie dough I had in the freezer and feel sorry for myself. We end the night by watching another episode of Columbo.
Daily total: 70.36
Food + Drink: $395.23
Fun / Entertainment: $26.40
Home + Health: $26.60
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $16.40
Other: $170.48
Grand Total: $635.11
I think this week was pretty normal for us. Obviously we spent a bit more than usual due to the weekend cabin trip, but nothing outrageous. Our largest consumer spending category is definitely food and drink – we live in a very busy area of Seattle with tons of restaurants and bars so believe it or not, we actually used to spend even more on eating out. We still try to support our local places by getting takeout or delivery during the pandemic and even occasionally getting a few drinks outside. I spent more than usual on groceries due to stocking up for the weekend away.

Title pretty much speaks for itself and I dont think I am ta but I'll let yall decide
Sis had decided last year to leave her life behind and move out of state with her "boyfriend". It lasted 5 days and she was kicked out and sent packing back to my state. She had already quit her job and gave up her apartment with less than a weeks notice. When she got back the landlord wouldnt let her back into the old apartment and her job wouldnt hire her back. None of the family would take her in and when I picked her up she was sleeping in a tent in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Now I used to live with her and I knew how she would be so I set boundaries from the beginning. She would clean up after herself, she would get a job, and while she couldnt contribute in anyother way we agreed she would buy groceries for the house with her food stamps. ($150 a month).
She had stayed with us for 2 months. Ate ALL of the food. I watched her eat an entire pound of spaghetti in one sitting and when it was brought up she accused ilus of fat shaming her. We made 2 pounds of food in two different scenarios and she ate everything within 24 hours. It barely had a chance to be packed away for leftovers.
She made our electric bill jump from $60 to $130 for both months she was with us. As soon as she left it went back down. Now I had told her that I'd pay her first months rent at her new place to help her get started. Found a cheap apartment for her that would be split with 2 other roommates. I paid the rent and security deposit and we agreed before anything was paid that she would owe me the deposit back ($283)
It's been 5 months. She has two jobs. She has now decided she will be moving back out of state with her "boyfriend" again with his wife and child and baby on the way in a trailer that has black mold in the bathroom and a rotting foundation.
She was supposed to pay me back with the bonus she got from her job but she bought a bus ticket instead out of state. She has told me she'll just paypal me the money after she moves. I said you arent going to have a job after you move. I want you to pay me while you still have 2 jobs here. I explained I never charged her for anything other than the money we agreed she would pay me back.
She said that I was being toxic by asking for my money back and is telling people outside the family that she doesnt think she should pay me back because me and my fiance "have money in the bank" and we dont need it like she does. While i agree that we are financially secure (after many years of us both working our way up to making 40k+ a year) that doesnt mean she doesnt owe us. Thatd be like telling a loan company that you dont think you should pay your bill to them because they are a big corporation. It's not how it works
AITA? I dont personally think I am but shes really making me doubt myself
Edit: thanks y'all. I felt like cutting her off while knowing that she'll need me again was rude but you're all pointing out that shes just using me. It's really hard to just cut contact cuz it's been drilled in my head by family that you have yo help if you know you can cuz that's what family does but that's what I'm gonna do. No more help if she thinks it's so toxic

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Referral info

Crypto.com is the cryptocurrency-focused company behind the popular Visa debit cards that have launched in Europe and the UK last spring. They have several card tiers, but I think the Ruby Steel offers the most value for money: you get a $25 (~£18.20) instant bonus (immediately withdrawable), free Spotify, unlimited 2% cashback on all card spend, perfect interbank FX rates, and a premium metal card.
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Referral program info

I was desperate for a job.
My bank balance was giving me dirty looks. Why should it be any different?
I was living on a cash advance at 27% interest and I wasn't sure if I should go to Tijuana for 19 Coronas or take a flyer off the six story walkup in Brooklyn where I dwelt.
I was about to flip a coin when I got a LinkedIn notification on the new phone I could not afford.
This was odd because I had turned off notifications. All notifications. I just wanted some; peace. and. quiet.
The LinkedIn notification went a little something like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Kenneth. I know you'd be perfect for a once in a lifetime opportunity to help humanity and grow wealthy.
Hi Kenneth,
Hope you're doing great! But word on the street is you may not be...
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Korinna Klaus.
I represent a private equity backed startup that is looking for a software engineer and architect with extensive startup experience. You've been recommended to me by a mutual colleague and I have to say: I AM IMPRESSED. Your background is a perfect fit for this exclusive opportunity with my exclusive client.
Kenneth: This is not your normal startup.
We sought you because you have a reputation as an out of the box thinker who's willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
And since I KNOW you're a no-nonsense DOERr (sic) who tells it like it is; allow me to do the same.
Money is NO object.
Repeat. This client wants you and all you have to do is name your price. No screening. No background check. And a handsome signing bonus. I mean hey, Ken... what have you got to lose?
Due to the sensitive nature of this opportunity please call me on my direct mobile at the number below.
Yours truly,
Korinna Klaus
Head of Talent Acquisition
FFC, LLC
(Phone # redacted)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I looked at my dog Rudder.
He was counting on me to bring home the bacon. A roach crawled out of the sink full of dishes and empty Guinness cans.
"I've been here too long" I said to the empty room.
Wrong turn in Albuquerque
The whole thing stank like a weekend in Tijuana. I was not what you would call an expert architect or software engineer. I mean I could muddle through but I was what you call an accidental programmer. You see when I was young...
I had a Dream
FREE COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS - 1992
I was finally back in Park Slope after a seven year exile.
The momster had made good on her promise to have me out on my ass the day I turned 18. I had managed to make it through five years of SUNY, a year of law school and then when I saw my life flash before my eyes on one sunny afternoon in Camden New Jersey I knew I had to do something else with my life.
After a shitty job working for a ghoulish estate raider in the South Bronx I got a phone call with a "once in a lifetime" opportunity.
It was my Dad Herman.
The same Dad who let his retard wife slam the door in my face when the momster put me on the streets. The same Herman unit who let me sleep in a comic book store in the tenth grade for 26 days until the truant officers got involved.
"Just hear me out.
Mickey and me got the comic store right on the corner across the street from Kings Plaza. It's gonna be a gold mine. I know you're smart. I want you to run it. We can make millions!"
I had needed a job and Herman did have good weed so what the fuck; in for a penny, in for a buck.
The Big Light Bulb
A month later I was running the comic shop and one day while perusing our distributor's monthly catalogue I had a vision. What if....??
What if I started a club? What if I charged a yearly membership and gave a cool membership card. And every month my club members would order in advance from the same catalogue as the comic shops? And for a discount? Just like a comic store.
I should also add this was 1991 and comics were going through one of those Game Stop, real-estate, dotcom, tulip, comic book bubbles with 5 separate holofoil Robin #1 bullshit gimmick manufactured collectible covers guaranteed to put your kids through college; or more likely to sit in a dusty long box in your attic with all those Turok #0s with the chromium whatsis. Good times.
So I tried out my idea for a discount advance purchasing club in the comic shop and one day 25 people joined for 25 clams each. On the way home I stopped at my boy Foz's place in Chinatown and showed him the wad of cash.
"Wow dude." Foz said as he packed me a binger of the shwag.
"I wanna advertise in the whole Marvel line in November with a Christmas ad. It's twenty-five thousand clams but if we get a few thousand people to join we could make crazy jack bro!"
Skip to the important part....
After a lot of drama and ragging on his shwag Foz decided to take his last forty thousand bucks left from an inheritance of four hundred thousand pounds he blew through in just under three years.
"I'm in," he said and he was good as his word.
My father finally agreed to leave the comic shop and his retard partner Mickey and go big.
Two Months Later
I couldn't handle all the business. So we brought in all our friends from college as partners. One of them, Lou Toast, was supposed to write the software cause handling hundreds of comic book orders without computers was threatening to put me in bankruptcy before I was barely airborne.
Three Months Later: Software bug and thirty thousand dollars of orders goes POOF
Toast had a bug in the order processing program he wrote in FoxPro. Bam, just like that when our order to our distributor Heroes World was due he informed me, "Ooooh. It's all gone. I put the order in RAM and we had the blue screen of death and well, I gotta go meet Boy George."
What. The. Fuck.
True story. I told that motherfucker you sit your Boy George hardon back down in that seat and find me my comic book orders or so help me I'm gonna shove those Vienna sausages on your desk so far up your ass Boy George is gonna taste 'em backwards.
I loved Toast like a brother. And nobody cared if he was out of the closet either. But this was serious business and if I didn't get my order in we would lose our discount and take a bath and maybe the fat lady would sing before the first act was complete.
Toast and I brawled. Wren and Foz pulled me off him. I apologized. I felt awful. I told him it was wrong and I was sorry. He sat back down, did not go to presumably see Boy George and tumble for him. We all typed the orders back in the Lantastic of 386s and somehow I dodged that bullet.
However, I had a bigger problem. I needed software and I had tried everything. Hired a consultant who had created an app for the stores called, ACES. Adaptable Comic Entry System. It sucked and the dude always had an excuse; pneumonia, his mother jumped off the cloisters; name it. And here I had already paid him thousands; for nothing.
So I hatched a plan. I would lock myself in Foz' apartment in Park Slope for 3 months and learn how to program. I made a deal with Toast to stay another few months and help me take over the computers. I bought a book called Mastering FoxPro for Windows 2.5 and my descent into hell began.
Eventually I took over and was able to automate the entire business in a few years. We moved to a warehouse on Long Island and suffered through the....
COMIC WARS
The mid 90s was an ugly time for retail comics. The decade had started with almost ten thousand comic shops and scores of distributors and healthy competition. Then some yahoo at Marvel Comics decided to buy my distributor Heroes World and cut out all the other distributors from about 35% of their monthly gross.
It was a FUCKING DISASTER.
So after scraping by and falling deeper into debt year after year, unable to find financing, unable to successfully diversify I found a bankruptcy lawyer and I went belly up. I was thirty years old.
DOT COM BOOM
EARN $175 an HOUR - JAVA EXPERTS WANTED
Yep. I went from one bubble bursting straight into another. No I didn't make $175 an hour and I could never figure out Java. I found some FoxPro consulting work and for the next ten years I tried to learn it all. Visual Basic, SQL Server, ASP, ASP.NET, C#, Javascript, JQuery, NodeJS, MVC, and I kept working a year, finding myself unemployed for three to six months until I finally found an okay spot at the Bank of New York.
And then another Bubble; Sub-prime debacle.
After struggling to stay employed I finally found my spot and worked hard and by 2008 I talked them into paying me $800 a day. I was forty. I figured if I could just stay there it would be all right.
The Big Recession - All consultants must go.
Easy come, Easy go.
So.... I was out of work. Another bubble had burst. And then me and my best friend decided to launch a startup. Only I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. You see I never wanted to be a programmer. And yeah, I could program, and I could understand the deeper concepts but I could never hang with the real geniuses.
Face it Kenneth. You're just a hack.
So yeah, I created a music service just as the RIAA was successfully suing every music startup like Grooveshark right out of business. And I found myself 45, out of work, and deep in debt. Hibbity hobbity back to consulting.
Oh I could say I landed on my feet. I got a job as an architect straight away at Bank of America but three months later they did a re-org and I was told if I was in Charlotte they would have kept me. So the day before Thanksgiving they cut me loose. But my manager met me in the city to take back the laptop and buy me a pint of Guinness.
He looked me in the eye and said, "It's death by a thousand cuts."
I went to Southeast Asia on a lark for a couple of months and came back and found more work at Bank of America in Jersey City. Only the consulting company I was hired through was cut from their preferred list and my contract could not be renewed.
And then there was the 18 months at the Mossad psycho company where the owner kept talking some shit about pushing concrete barrels up a hill and I should work 18 hours a day if I was a man like him and well, it was fun watching his face melt in meetings but eventually the LSD stops working.
So I did what any other single maniac having a perpetual whole life crisis . I saw my Aunt in Tampa, drove to Fort Lauderdale to see my best friend and business partner who was just as deep in debt as I from our last venture.
We had one idea left.
A restaurant app my buddy thought up. We were going to make a developer who had worked for me at my last job as a partner and let him develop it but at the last minute his employer in Noida made him an offer he could not refuse and the kid begged off.
So I found myself in the Dominican Republic pounding away on the keyboard desperate to learn the Google Cloud, master Angular and NoSQL. You see as a programmer I am always a frustrated freshman. But when you need software and you ain't got two nickels to rub together you make do with what you got and what I had was me.
So I sat in that mold infested luxury hotel room on the beach and I began coding. Five months later I found myself in Mexico City in a run down apartment with no screens on the windows and a white female cat for company.
I had gotten tired of shooing the cat out and it kept freaking me out when I opened the bathroom door at 3am to take a piss and saw the cat sitting there like a dog its green eyes shining up to me.
One night while I was sleeping the cat put its paw on my chest and said, "they're coming for you." I was sure I dreamed it the next morning.
I drank a lot of Mexican beer, the cat always close by watching. I kept coding and then I came back to Brooklyn.
I had done it and all on my own. I had even written a business plan and created a pitch deck. I would hire a professional to polish it and then maybe, just maybe I could make good for once in my life. Get me and my partner in the black; for once. Just for variety.
NOT TO BE
And then the pandemic hit. Nobody going to restaurants. No business travelers. No nothing.
So I did what any other hard boiled shitty hack developer would do. I borrowed yet more money and kept trying to learn the latest skills. Docker containers. AWS Fargate. Azure. .NET CORE, Lambda expressions, and on and on ad nauseam. It was a curse.
And all the interviews with the endless technical questions that I spent endless time memorizing. All because of comic books? Boy George? The Napster? Who. The. Fuck. Is. Ruining. My. Life.
MEA CULPA
At a certain point you have to come to grips.
Here I was in about to exit the sunnyside of my 50s if such a thing could exist. I can't compete with the new wave of young modern developers who seem to know everything while I find myself continuously debugging and cursing and never able to compile the Microsoft sample github.
Basically I was a mess which brings us to last Thursday.
Hi Kenneth. I know you'd be perfect for a once in a lifetime opportunity to help humanity and grow wealthy
And here I am about to go belly up. I mean they keep knocking me down and I keep getting up but its been 50 years of broken home to foster care to mom to Dad to step-mother slamming the door in my face to sleeping in a comic book store in Bay Ridge and shucking rock for Joe Rockhead all the way to SUNY ghostwriting, law school drop out, comic jock, software consultant, music app wanna be, unemployed single and having to wear glasses and shave my head.
This is what is referred to as...
A Revolting Development
So I did what any other down on his luck red blooded American man would do; I called Ms. Klaus.
"Hi Kenneth!"
It was as if she was somewhere in her office looking at her watch and mumbling, "In 3, in 2 and ..." as I punched her digits.
"Hi Korinna. How are you?"
"I am FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! Thanks for asking. But this isn't about me. This is about you Kenneth."
"Well what's your once in a lifetime offer?"
"Yes. Good. Good. Good," she said.
I said nothing which is something I wished I had learned to do long ago.
"Sure. Sure. You wanna know. Well I am going to tell you. We are running an entirely remote team launching a new technological service to a very exclusive clientele. A very bigly clientele if you catch my drift."
Did she just say, "bigly???"
"A very well heeled clientele if you know what I mean," she said and let it hang in case I wanted squeeze the Charmin.
"I'm listening," I replied.
My dog Rudder sniffed his balls and knit his eyebrows and gave me the, "I got a bad feeling on this one Dad," look I was all too familiar with.
Rudder was rarely wrong but I was rarely in a position to be choosy. I was an accidental programmer in a world I never created and each year that passed burned my ass worse than the one before.
"Kenneth. We are far along in our platform and we need a 'can-do guy'. Someone who can communicate. Tell it like it is, if you will. Are you following me?"
This was starting to sound like some government grade A bullshit.
"Well I've been working in Angular and I am okay at .NET and SQL but I still have to spend a lot of time on Google and StackOverfl-"
"Never mind that Kenneth. Tune in to what is happening here."
"Okay."
"We know about you. We know you came up hard. We know you made it through uni with high grades despite eating shrooms and acid and smoking weed incessantly. We know you were a ghostwriter. We know you witnessed a murder in Camden when you were in law school and had a breakdow-"
"OKAY!" I interjected. "I don't know what kind of bullshit scam you're running Karinna, Kristina,, or whatever the fuck your name is but yeah, you're right. We are in a fucking pandemic, I am trapped in an overpriced closet the last 20 years and I feel like a goddamned retard everytime I take a technical interview. As a matter of fact, I am probably the last person you want to lead your startup."
WHOAH. THAT DID NOT SOUND LIKE ME. I NEVER SHOWED.....
F.E.A.R.
This time it was Korinna who interjected.
"No you don't listen with your mouth Kenneth.
That's your mistake. What? You think you're special.
'Poor poor pitiful me?'
Well fucking Linda Ronstadt can't do concerts anymore and the world is fucking gone full blown Dr. Strangelove and you think being an iconoclast makes you special? Well I have news for YOU; it does! And we want to hire you. Today. Now."
I was going to tell her I had to think about it a bit.
I wanted to talk money.
But I didn't feel right. My palms were sweaty. My vision blurrier than usual. I took off my glasses and for a second I could see perfectly. Like when I was young.
It was a vision.
Like the vision I had the night when I was 5 in 1972. Right after I learned about betrayal.
They had conned me into getting my tonsils out by telling me that I could eat all the ice cream in the world I wanted. But that was bullshit because my throat was so raw that the ice cream cut like a knife but fuck YOU--Bryan Adams; it did NOT feel all right. So shove your na-na-na-NA-na-nahhhs right up your ass.
I remembered the Barbie face that materialized on my wall. Clear as day. Like an HDTV of the future. Only it was real and Barbie looked sexy AF. Only her smile changed. Pearly whites morphing into slime covered triangular gnashing machines. Eyes blood red crying tears of the same. And the laugh. It was the laugh that said you're whole world is about to change son. And you here have proof. A premonition to last your entire life. Like Sisyphus, Like Icarus... No matter how high you fly you'll always come crashing down.
The room spun. I felt the small hairs on my neck raise. I felt that Sunday night adrenaline dump hit my blood stream. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Can't fight. Can't flee. Just another Manic Monday coming your way. Just like any other day. Only you will keep losing. Endless unfulfilling meaningless to your existence. The women will see you as a compendium of check boxes on their to-do list. Over and over. The eternal return. Like Jorma's roommate Professor Manchester said, "Those olives WILL call to you in the middle of the night...."
I rubbed my eyes. I-I was crying. Blood. Rudder got up in my face and began licking it....
"Ken... Kenneth!! Tune in."
I had forgot all about the Klaus bitch. I was entering Coronaryville USA; populate; ME. WTF?!?!
My. Mother. Was. Back. And you're gonna be in trouble... Hey nah... hey nah....
It had been 35 years since I had cut bait. The bitch with the fast right hand. The hair puller. The avocado face monster who was always revoking my privileges and giving away my pets and sabotaging any shred of joy I might experience on this planet.
"I told you. You would fail. Just.Like.Your.FATHERRRRRRRR..."
My father Herman. Yeah you remember him. He who incidentally caught a heart attack and was found by my stepbrother with one hand in the air which was misinterpreted as a, "GTFO of my room," due to their OscaFelix ongoing Sanford & Son drama. Truth be told he got a little ripe there in the end.
God my fucking life flashed before my blood stained eyes. I wanted to fight.
Korinna said, "You have to hit rock bottom Ken."
And then I saw everyone ridiculing me. Ostracizing me. Bringing me to the gallows pole. I pissed my satin pajamas. The ones I had been wearing all week as my funk got industrial strength.
I. Felt.My.Mouth.Seal.Shut.
I could not speak. I could not scream.
"You don't listen with your mouth," Korinna said.
I cried harder. I wanted it to stop. It was like coming down off of all the cocaine in the universe. Mel Brooks anxiety would need a year of the endo to match the altitude of my anxiety. I wanted to die.
"If you kill Rudder it will end," Korinna said.
I saw Rudder. Lapping my face. Whining.
And then something odd happened.
It was like all the moments of clarity and enlightenment I ever experienced came together to let me see it all as an illusion. The fear. The mindless reaction. Kill me. Don't kill me. But shit or get off the pot. The audience is growing restless; trust me.
"You've got the job!" Korinna cooed.
"What?"
"Check your bank account Kenneth. Your business account. We've deposited a retainer for your first month."
I checked my bank balance.
I was bucks up. Enough to not only get me out of debt but my partner too! Almost to the penny.
I felt fear turn to relief; or was it greed?
"You felt it? Did you not?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That Mr. Kenneth," Korinna said, "was the FEAR FREQUENCY. People are paying us a pretty penny for exclusive use of this very cutting edge technology. It makes dependency injection look like a hammer and anvil."
I ain't proud to say I took the job.
That was four months ago.
You won't believe this and I don't blame you. I don't expect you to.
I still don't. I don't even quite know what I am doing all the time.
I am monitoring three offshore teams. I believe the current state of the world has been induced or incited or catalyzed by the fear frequency.
I don't know how it is possible but after every project we complete; particularly with the team from Yerevan; the world grows a little darker and my bank account a little bigger.
I tried to resign a few days ago and the nightmares began. They gave me another raise and put me on probation. Korinna reminded me of the company's HR motto; FEAR IN-FEAR OUT
So next time you feel that free floating anxiety, the next time you start making decisions; life decisions; remember the frequency Kenneth; the fear frequency.

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My best friend is married to someone who is a total loser. She is a big lass and doesn't think much of herself but she is the most amazing woman. Unbelievably kind, thoughtful, caring. proper wonderful woman if things have been different we'd have ended up married. However, I'm gay so that was never going to happen. In the past she's had boyfriends that weren't great but the odd one that was really nice and i couldn't have been happier for her.....then she met this guy. No one (and i mean no one, not even his family) likes him. I even asked some mutual friends if I was being a dick or unfair and everyone has said no. He's not physically abusive but he is neglectful
They were dating for a few years and things weren't great (he was proper jealous of me for some reason that baffled me, I'm no oil painting and also GAY...so god knows why) just as she was about to break up with him he proposed....and she accepted.
This guys is 1000's of pounds in debt and does nothing to clear it.
My friend lives with her disabled mum so when they got married he moved in with them. Now over this time he has done some horrible things. I'll give you some examples of the worst stuff.
Diabetic
My best friend got diagnosed with diabetes and rushed to hospital. I found out **** myself and made a dash for the hospital to see her. Mean while he wasn't there...he was waiting for his dad to go on the bus up there with him ( I don't know why and i didn't care to ask). she started to recover. the day she was released her blood sugar was super high (20, normal is about 5/6) but they said as she had people at home to look after her she could leave (and believe me she wanted to) we get her home I get her some no sugar treats and bits the doc said she could have and left her to rest and told her mum to call me for anything. Now she was released at 4 pm, home by 4:30 and i left her at about 4:45pm to rest....I then find out that when I left her husband said "is it aright if i go out to the pub I've been invited out for a drink". She told me she looked blankly at him in shock and said "you should know the answer to that".....turns out he didn't because he went to the pub! She had been out of hospital for an hour, blood sugar level of 20 and he left her with her disabled mum (who can only walk with two crutches)
Cheapskate
When he moved in he was told what the rent would be (they live in a 4 bedroom council house in london) was told he had to pay about £550 a moth rent (to anyone else that's a ridiculously low price to live 30 mins from central london in a 4 bed house with a garden). All he did was complain about how "high" his rent was, I should mention he works full time in retail so while not high paid can easily afford that. He also PAYS FOR NOTHING ELSE no electric, gas, toiletries he does buy food but only for himself and when his disabled mother in law helped her self to a slice of ham from a packed he bought he started shouting "who the F*** has been eating my ham".My best friend (his wife) used to suffer with very dry itchy skin and there was a cream that helped her, he called her and told her it was reduced to clear at work for 19p.....thats all he did was tell her he didn't buy any for her.His mother in law gave him a fiver and asked him to get some shopping and it came to £5,26p....he actually made her give him to 26p.....a disabled woman on disability benefits...(not to mention his mother in law) and he couldn't let her off 26 effing pence!
**Stole money from her best friend (me)**I love my bestie dearly and trust her with anything!!! So when she rung me and said Her husband had found my bank card at hers I said "oh ok thanks....wonder how i did that....anyway keep hold of it for me love yeah? i'll grab it when i next see you" which she was fine with.Now unbeknown to be was she didn't have the card before she called me HE kept hid of it. I told my husband what had happened as it was joint account and I may need to use his card until I got mine back. My husband jokingly said "lucky he didn't go on a spending spree knowing him" I laughed then my face fell....."check the account" I said.We checked it and found he spent over £15 on himself at McDonalds that morning......now it wasn't my husband and it wasn't me because, we were dieting at the time and even when we weren't we rarely went to McDonalds.I got on the phone to my bestie because if i called him I'd have gotten arrested. I was furious, but made it clear I wasnt angry with her, I was so tempted to call the police but she is my best friend and i didnt want to put her and her mum through all that stress. so i said "tell him to put that money back in my account within the next hour if he doesn't the amount he has to give me will double every minuet he goes over...if it's not there after 2 hours I'll either call the police or kick the sh*t out of him depend on how i feel" funnily enough the money appeared in my account within 15 mins.He then told different stories to different people about where he found the card and what he did with it.version 1, he found it under the shoe rack and put it on the shelf for safe keepingversion 2, he found it in the living room and put it in his wallet for safe keepingversion 3, he found it under the shoe rack then put it on the shelf, then in his wallet for safe keepingand a few more variations on those explanations.
birthday nightmare
My bestie and I usually spend her birthday and mine together. However, she said her other half was taking her out for the day. I was a bit sad about it, I wont lie. However, I said it was fine what time was they going? she said "10am".so i said would it be ok if i popped round 9/930am ish just to drop off her birthday cake and presents say happy birthday and then i'll do one and she can enjoy her day.This was fine with her, so 9am off i went to her house gave her the cake and presents and she told me what the plan for the day was.He was taking her out shopping up the west end, then for a meal and then for a drink. which she was very happy with. so i wished her happy birthday and i got talking to her mum while she was getting ready. (her mum is like my second mum I love her to bits) ended up watching tv with her and hatting away for hours. suddenly it was 1pm and my bestie hadn't left yet...they ended up leaving at 2pm.This is how the day went...
They arrived in oxford st, my bestie wanted to go to the disney store so she did....her husband stood outside having a cigarette and left her to it.
They then went to HMV where she was going to buy a dvd and he then started to argue with her about the dvd she wanted. she bought the dvd with her own money (he hasnt even given her a present I should add)
After HMV (about 3:30pm) she asked "what time are we eating? im getting hungry but i dont want to ruin my appetite. should i get a sandwich from boots? or just grab milkshake to tide me over? "
His response "oh er well i dunno...I havent booked any where I thought we could find somewhere""without booking?" she askedso it transpired that they couldn't find anywhere so they went to McDonalds.....SHE PAIDHe then said "ive messed up a bit I've arranged a surprise for you for tonight I've invited all your friends to meet us in the pub but we need to leave now to get there"This turned out to be the local Weatherspoon's and "all her friends" was their colleges from work (they work in the same place) I wasn't invited and nor were any of her other close friends. she then said he was never organising a birthday thing for her again.
Holiday fiasco
me, my husband and in-laws planned a mega 3 week Orlando theme park holiday for 3 years to come. I invited my best friend to come ( and begrudgingly her husband) if they could save up. They discussed and said "yes, **** said we can save enough". Big bonus we was also going to meet up with a friend from the states we hadn't seen for 7 years and we would arrange dates with our American friend too crossover so we could meet there.
Her husband didn't listen and booked dates her wanted. but then had to cancel them because she didnt want to go without the rest of us and miss the mini reunion with our friend
Nearer the time I was showing her a phone app i made for the holiday and she broke down crying. saying she was sorry but she couldn't go her husband lied about saving the money and she couldn't afford to go. I had some money saved from my student loan and other bits and said to her."do you want to go?""I can't""I never asked if you could did i? I said do you want to go yes or no?""well yes but....""right you're going....I'll get your ticket and you can pay me back when you can no pressure at all!"after protesting I convinced her on the proviso she would only come for 2 weeks and it was sorted.
Once her husband found out he said "if I'm not going you're not going"....well this lead to her tearing him a new one then ringing me up telling me what he said followed by "I'm really sorry mate, you've been so generous and I don't want to take the piss but could I borrow a bit more and come for 3 weeks instead of 2?" i gave her a resounding yes!!!.
Suddenly her husband found he could find the money to pay for himself if she was going.....but didnt have the money yet and could i book it for him. I said "nope, you want me to book stuff for you, you give me the money first"
He then booked flights but got the dates wrong and have to cancel....losing his second deposit.
he then booked a package holiday to Orlando, for himself at teh time we would be there.....but couldn't pay it off and lost teh deposit as well as being liable for the full cost"
He spend more not going on holiday then we spent going to Orlando for 3 weeks.
Wedding nightmare
My bestie didn't want a "maid of honour" she asked me to be her "best man/ Man of honour" as i'm her best friend....I was thrilled!
I had membership to Marko (cash and carry Wearhouse like costco) and I said if they wanted i could take them up there to get stuff for the wedding. We went and her husband is merrily putting stuff into the trolly and spent over £400....However, he only brought £50 and my bestie never brought any money as he said he was getting it. luckily i had my credit card there so I bought it and SHE paid me back.....he never paid for anything.
Me and my bestie went looking at wedding dresses. Not being funny or cruel but she is a large lass an so choice were a bit limited in her price range so we were shopping around. She tried on a few and then she tried on this horrible shapeless thing that was in the clearance. No harm in trying it.She stepped out the changing room and it looked like a different dress! perfectly fit her! looking absolutely stunning! showed of her curves, went in and out in all the right places was just missing a few accessories...and was £500...BARGAIN!!!
Her fiancé was supposed to put money in her account to buy the dress and surprise surprise he didn't have it. nearly in tears she said she'll have to come back and hope its still here. I wasn't having any of that so offered to buy the dress for her and she could pay me back....she wouldn't have it. So i said "ok leave it here" i then went to the counter and told the sales woman i wanted to buy the £500 wedding dress please" my friend protested but I bought it saying "who said it was for you?" once the transaction was completes I said "oh why did I buy this...I wont look good in it....'ere you're getting married soon ain't you?" don't suppose you need a dress? then ensued many tears from the shop assistant and much smiling and mock scolding from my bestie.
When we got back to hers she told her mum and fiancé what happened.....his reaction...."oh" and walked off...no thank you, no i'll pay you back...nothing.
He ended up paying for next to nothing....just a few hundred for the hall for the reception.
Covid-19
Recently, after not taking precautions, he brought covid-19 into the house infecting his vulnerable wife and mother in-law. as if thats not bad enough he's been seen out while he has covid....he was supposed to be isolating.
So yeah this is the calibre of "man" she married....there much more he has done but i think this gives you the gist.
If I ask her about it she clams up or says "i can't answer that". She never seems pleased to see him or speak to him, isn't bothered about him sexually (not that i can blame her, he's in his 30's but looks 50) and can't give any reason to stay with him yet she wont get rid of him.....It's heart breaking to watch.If she was at least happy I could say "well at least you're happy love" but she's not, she told me she's not, and he is taking advantage of her and his disabled mother in-law....
i'm hoping someone can give some advice on how to help her be happy... edit: apparently i am "jealous" this is not the case but I cant make that case without coming across obsessive and a "me thinks he doth protest too much" vibe. please trust that there is no jealousy here and would love to see my bestie married to a wonderful man and have kids

Hi i am currently stuck between a few decisions and hope someone on here could point me in the right direction. I currently have 39 thousand pounds split across different accounts that are not helping me put my money to best use. i have roughly 17.5k in an account which has no interest rates, 17.5k in a cash isa which is giving me next to nothing. The remainder of my sum in built into a help to buy isa that i have been saving from November 2019.
I have recently discovered the lifetime isa and was disappointed to realize that i could have been building my government grant a lot quicker than its help to buy equivalent.
I am currently interested in buying my first home but i am unsure whether the best option will be to build my lifetime isa, or to buy a house now and find a place on the property ladder.
My current plan is to open a lifetime isa with Nottingham building society and deposit £4000 now and another £4000 after the tax year in April. I will continue building my help to buy isa to make use of the 1.5% interest rate The only limiting factor to this is that if i find that the house prices start to fall i am unable to buy until 12 months from now (unless i take the 6% hit on the withdrawal fee).
My question is: Will the House prices rising in the next 12 months or more out weigh the bonus of a lifetime isa?
I would be prepared to buy now if it is the best interest for my money. I will add that i am 21 with no children and have a secure job.
Sorry if i have missed out any important details
Thanks

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I am 27 years old as of today! As I wrote this diary, I realized that my life is pretty boring right now. I also didn't get too deep into my work, because attorney, and because it's pretty boring this week.
I wish we could have more in savings right now, but I never came from an enviroment that encouraged responsible savings, nor have I ever had the privilege of having enough to put in savings. Until now. My husband has come from a place of privilege, so he's gotten to see firsthand what it's like to not have it.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $6,622.23 in a 401K I get through work. I just started qualifying for the 401K in April of this year. I contribute 10%. My employer does not match anything, unfortunately. I’m not sure how much my husband has in his teacher account. Additionally, I have $1,300 in a Roth IRA I started at my old job which had no benefits. I haven’t contributed to my IRA in a few months because…
Equity if you're a homeowner: We just bought a house at the end of September! We did not intend on buying a house yet, but an offer came up in my hometown that was too good to pass up. We bought the house for $120,000, we put down about $6,500, and the house is estimated to be worth about $180,000 without any repairs (of which it needs many.) We do not intend on living in this house, because I don’t want to live across the street from my parents. Hopefully, repairs will be done before the end of the year and we can start getting renters in. The current plan is to rent it out for a year, and then sell it.
Joint Savings account balance: $1,000.00. See above. We’ll work on replenishing this once repairs are done.
Joint Checking account balance: $11,588.05 in our joint account on the date of publishing, following receipt of my $8,000 bonus last month. We are about to pay $8,000 to fix the foundation in our house, so we have everything in our checking account. Additionally, we’ll have to pay for labor to pull out the rugs, paint, etc. And we need to buy new appliances because the appliances in the house are definitely the original from 1968.
Credit card debt: None. Everything is paid off monthly on both accounts. I think we both individually pay about $2,000 per month on our credit cards. Sometimes less, rarely more. I don't ask him what he buys, and he doesn't ask me either.
Student loan debt: $218,719.16 for my undergrad (about 9K left) and law degree (the rest). I am a first generation college graduate and my parents had nothing to provide me except their love and support. They always told me education was the most important thing, and for that, I am eternally grateful. It’s just another payment, and I wasn’t going to let that stop me from living the life I wanted. For now, I am on an income based repayment plan and hopefully it will be forgiven in 2030.
My husband has no student loan debt, which is great because I have enough for both of us.
Extra: My husband has a trust left behind by his grandpa. He has never touched it, and does not have plans to, until maybe we buy the house we will actually live in.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression:
I got my first job in college because I was a young graduate and never had a high school job. I worked at the university dining hall making 8.50/hour. It was a glamorous year. The following two years, I worked for an attorney in town and decided that I wanted to go to law school. I made 10/hour for about a year and a half, and then 12/hour when I graduated and kept working there until I left for law school.
During law school, I did not work, because it was just not feasible. I had internships in the summers, of which three were paid. One was a federal judge internship, where I was paid a stipend at the end of the time, and they also paid for parking. One was back at the firm I worked at in undergrad, and I got paid a lump sum to be a legal assistant for half a summer. The third was at the city attorney’s office, and they paid $20/hour. I had never gotten paid that much in my life and I was thrilled.
Out of law school, I started working at a plaintiff’s law firm, and I made $55,000 until I passed the bar, at which point, I got a raise to $80,000. I hated being a plaintiff’s lawyer, and got out after six months. After that, I worked at an insurance defense firm, where I made $65,000 for six months as a trial period, and then $80,000 again. That firm environment was not healthy, and I got out after about a year and a half. I was unemployed for about three months and got by on my savings. Then I got the job I have now, where I bill less hours, and make more money. I have been at this job for a little over a year.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
5,552.04 (me) 3,331.96 (h) after taxes, health insurance (we each pay our own), etc.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home
We both tutor (him math, me English) on the side with a friend who organizes it all. Our profits have increased each month since we started. In August, we made $190, in September we made $593, and in October we made $775. Current November profits are $916 and the month is only halfway done. I anticipate that this number will keep increasing as we get more students. This money is used on house expenses. Maybe after we get renters in, this money will go towards student loans.
Any Other Monthly Income Here
None yet! Hopefully our time as landlords starts soon!
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees: $1,900.00 in rent for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom, 1100 sq. ft. apartment, including all water, sewage, valet trash, and pet rent. $1,015.00 for our mortgage while we are repairing and having to pay for it on our own, and no HOA fees. Once we start renting the house out, we will not have double payments.
Renters / home insurance: Renters is $35.23/month. Home insurance was paid for the first year as part of closing. It was $1,200 for the first year.
Retirement contribution: none that wasn’t previously discussed.
Savings contribution: TBD once the house is done. It was previously around 10% of my paycheck and I think my husband contributed the same.
Investment contribution: TBD once the house is done. It was previously $75/month. I also have an acorns account that probably gets about $15-20/month. It currently has about $220 bucks in it, but I have had to withdraw from that account when times were hard.
Debt payments: Currently nothing. Focusing on the house for now.
Donations: I donate $10/month to the ACLU. We also foster kittens through our local shelter.
Electric: $102.39 last month. This bill is starting to go down now that it’s *finally* cooling off
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $50.27/month
Cellphone: $70.66/month for me. My husband is still on his parents’ plan.
Groceries: We spend about $60/week on grocery delivery from Imperfect Foods. Every couple of weeks we’ll go to the grocery store and pick up anything we didn’t get delivered. Those days can range from $40-$100, and it’s only every few weeks.
Gas: Maybe $50/month? My commute is short, and I don’t go to any other places anymore.
Eating in: $40-70/week. We’ll order food once a week. It helps me feel normal and not like my life is a never ending series of cooking and cleaning.
Subscriptions:
Netflix: $14.99. I pay for it for myself and my parents and brother
Hulu: $11.99. Same
Spotify: $14.99. Family plan for me and my husband because he didn’t use spotify beforehand
HBONow. I think it’s $15.00. My husband pays for this
We mooch off of someone for Disney+
Book of the Month: $10.00/month. I love to read, but at a truer level, I love to own books. I will never get through my reading list, but I’ve come to terms with it.
NYTimes: $6.38/month
Winc: $60.00/every other month
Gym membership: $42.22 for the Peloton classes, and $74.78 for the bike itself. I got it for 0% APR and it will be paid off in three years. If it were not for the house, I would have paid this all off already. It’s been a great purchase and I fully recommend it.
Pet expenses: between $80-100/month. The cats are bougie and get fancy food from PetCo. One is also fat, but we’re still working on that. This may increase depending on if we have fosters, which we do right now.
Car payment / insurance: My Rav4 payment is $334/month and car insurance is $90/month. My husband’s car is paid off and I think his dad still pays the car insurance because it’s cheaper that way. (P.S. if anyone has advice on refinancing your car, please share! The thought terrifies me)
Regular therapy: I think my insurance is covering my co-pay right now because I am not paying anything for therapy right now.
Paid hobbies: None. The Peloton is my paid hobby.
I’d like to note that most of my expenses are paid on my credit card and then paid off every month. I may not be able to use those sweet, sweet points yet, but once we are free, I’ll be at an airport as often as possible.
Section 4: Money Attitudes
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If so, how did you pay for it?
Yes, there was always the expectation that I attend university. My parents both immigrated to the US in their early 20s and did not attend college. They both always told me that education was the most important thing, and the only thing I could take with me. In application, this got a little more complicated because my parents did not know how higher education worked. I had to do all the research regarding college applications, the SAT, scholarships, FAFSA, etc. because they didn’t know how any of it worked. When I applied for FAFSA the first time, my mom had me sit down and read all the fine print to make sure I knew what was happening. However, once I applied to law school, my parents asked why I didn’t just go to law school, and why I had gone to undergrad. It took some explaining for them to realize that I needed a Bachelor’s degree before going to law school. I had to pay for all of it through loans.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have around money? Did your parents educate you on finances?
My parents were not great, and still are not great, at finances. I knew my mom spent too much money on the credit cards, and my dad has frequently pulled out of his 401k. My dad told me too many details about the household finances that I did not need to know as a child.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I got my first real job in college because my parents could not support me.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Constantly. See above for my dad using me as an emotional support daughter.
Do you worry about money now?
In theory yes, because I’ve never known how to not worry about money, but in practice, I recognize that I am living a life my parents could have never dreamed of, and I am not irresponsible with my money. I could stand to be a little more frugal, but I worked hard to enjoy my life now, not later.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially independent at the age of 17, when I got dropped off at my dorm. My parents gave me $200, and that was it. I think they may have bought me groceries once after that.
Section Five: DIARY TIME!
Tuesday 11/10
6:30 a.m.
I asked my husband to wake me up early because the foster kittens needed to go to the vet. Quarantine has wrecked any aspirations I used to have about being a morning person. Now I am bitter and groggy. He kisses me goodbye, and goes off to work.
6:45 a.m.
Okay, I’m up. I feed the foster kittens, feed our cats, and do some chores I will not have time to do later today, mainly dishes and general clean up around the apartment.
7:15 a.m.
I get dressed and make myself breakfast. Two eggs, two vegan bacon slices, and an avocado. I let the kittens out for a while so they can get some energy out.
7:50 a.m.
I’m off to the free vet at the animal shelter. The kittens have had soft stool for a while, but since they are older than the ones I normally get, I hoped they would resolve it on their own. Alas, they did not, and it is time to get it resolved. While driving over there, I make some calls for my volunteer work which I have not had time to make previously. I volunteer with Child Advocates, which is the Houston branch of CASA. Three calls total, and that’s off my plate, finally.
8:30 a.m.
No one has come out to help me at the shelter, so I have to get out to find someone.
9:00 a.m.
Medication obtained, and I need to go back home to administer medication and drop them off.
9:20 a.m.
Kittens medicated, and I’m off to work.
9:30 a.m.
Work! Why they made us come back into the office is beyond me, but at least I get my triple screens.
10:00 a.m.
My husband is a teacher, and I asked for his google classroom link because I just wanted to hear his voice during the day. We’ve both been going through it lately, so the support is appreciated on his end as well. I keep his algebra class on in the background while I work.
11:30 a.m.
My mind starts to wander, and I open ASOS to browse. I buy a dress that I’ve been eyeballing for a few days, and I justify it as a birthday present to myself. I can probably wear it to work.
$89.95
12:45 p.m.
I’ve put off eating long enough. I go downstairs to the cafe and get a salad and some chips. I am participating in a weight loss challenge at work, so I try to eat healthy. I also run into my coworker downstairs and we chat on our way back up. I also FINALLY fill my water bottle today. I’m permanently dehydrated, it’s fine.
$8.96
1:45 p.m.
My husband’s geometry class. I sit in again, and even participate a little bit!
6:00 p.m.
Time to head home. I’m beyond exhausted. And I should still have a long night ahead of me. Instead, I drive around the neighborhood park for Pokémon Go related reasons and it makes me feel better.
6:45 p.m.
Normally on Tuesdays, I spend the whole night logging my billing. I should do it as I go, this I know, but I hate doing it and I don’t want to. So I do it on Tuesdays and usually spend the entire evening doing it. Right now, I would rather sit and cry, but instead, I start making pasta sauce for spaghetti squash.
7:00 p.m.
I turn on Dancing with the Stars and all three kittens fall asleep on me. I am trapped forever now.
8:00 p.m.
Dinner time! Homemade sauce with mushrooms and greens, all on top of spaghetti squash. I make sure to have plenty for leftovers. My husband and I turn on game shows because it feels like a mindless tv night. Billing? Who is she? I will regret this later. Meanwhile, my husband and I talk about how down we’re feeling, and try to make each other feel better. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, but nobody planned for a global pandemic.
10:00 p.m.
I do a face mask for the first time in forever. My skin went to absolute shit after switching to the mini pill in May, and I finally went to the dermatologist to fix it. It’s been about a month and a half with spironolactone, Epiduo, and sulfur face wash. My skin purged terribly, and I could not stop picking at it. So I do a brightening face mask to help even out the skin tone. My husband records a video for class, and I keep Jeopardy on in the background. RIP Alex Trebek. Around this time I stare at my briefcase some more. This is the first time in eight months I have not done my weekly billing timely and I feel the laptop boring into my soul. However, the exhaustion goes down into my bones. There is no shaking this. I’ve been feeling like this for a while, and my therapist said it was probably depression. She also frequently tells me to do self care, which I am terrible at. With all this in mind, I resolve to be okay with not billing tonight and just exist for the rest of the night.
11:40 p.m.
I start getting ready for bed. Nighttime face routine, brushing teeth, feeding kittens, and putting the food away. I’m exhausted, and I go to bed.
Daily Total: $98.91
Wednesday 11/11
8:00 a.m.
I barely registered when my husband left this morning, and I start to come into consciousness. This is a more normal start time for me. Yes I got eight hours of sleep, but I do not feel any less tired.
8:12 a.m.
My birth control alarm goes off so I have to get up.
8:17 a.m.
I check my work email and see that I missed a call from someone I needed to speak with ASAP. I call him from my cell phone. He doesn’t need to know that my hair is sticking out like a Cynthia doll and that my vision is still blurry. I get things resolved, all is good. Meanwhile, I feed the cat squads and pop some waffles in the toaster. I promptly forget about them and shower quickly. I grab the waffles after showering, taking the rest of my meds, moisturizing, brushing teeth, etc etc. As I’m about to head out the door, I realize I still need to medicate the kittens. I do that quickly, and head out the door.
9:10 a.m.
I’ll be real. I don’t feel bad about leaving for work after 9. My commute is exactly 10 minutes long and they don’t care when I show up, as long as I do the hours. Being a lawyer has plenty of stress and exhaustion, but this part is pretty chill.
9:20 a.m.
Oh look, I’m at the office.
10:00 a.m.
I log in to see my husband, but apparently he left work early because he didn’t feel good. I text him to see if he needs anything.
As I work, I munch on some pomegranate seeds that I cut out my poms last night. Why did I wear white pants today though?
12:30 p.m.
Lunch time! I heat up some spaghetti squash and sauce and go back to my office. All the legal assistants were sitting in the break room and it was too many people for my comfort. To be fair, all the legal assistants sitting together was already too many people for my comfort before the pandemic.
2:30 p.m.
Zoom call with a client for deposition prep. It goes fine, no issues. This is important.
3:30 p.m.
Deposition. First half hour, the client could not get the sound to work, so I just called him on my cell phone and put that up to my computer to work as the sound. We get through half an hour of deposition and then his phone dies. We try to get him back for twenty minutes before we just call it and agree to reset. I am mortified. It’s not my fault, but I’m still the lawyer and we take responsibility for the mistakes. I call my boss and let him know what happened.
5:45 p.m.
After that debacle, I work a little bit longer and then head home to make sure my husband is okay. As I pull into the parking lot, I note there is a food truck downstairs! My husband said he wanted to order food tonight, so maybe we can do this instead so as to not pay for delivery fees.
6:00 p.m.
Tutoring! This student has a test on Lord of the Flies tomorrow, so we go over her test review. I read Lord of the Flies in the eighth grade, so I tried to skim over it before tutoring, but I do have to rely on Sparknotes for some details. I can easily discuss themes with her, and she feels much better.
7:00 p.m.
My husband went downstairs while I tutored and got us dinner on his credit card. He is tutoring a different girl now for math, so I eat half my veggie burger while he works. I lay down on the sofa and read Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby for a while.
9:30 p.m.
Time to turn on the Bachelorette. It’s Tayshia’s first episode, and we’re ready for it. My husband is also a little in love with her, and I completely understand. Honestly, same.
Sometime around 11:45, I doze off on the sofa. My husband gets me up and I relocate to the bed without brushing my teeth or moisturizing. It’s one of those nights.
Daily total: $0 from me. I didn’t ask how much the burgers were.
Thursday 11/12
7:30 a.m.
I wake up feeling surprisingly rested. Maybe I’ll do a quick ride on the Peloton!
7:50 a.m.
LOL nope. I fell asleep again. But this time, I resolve to at least do an arm workup for the tricep challenge on peloton. I feed the cat parade first and turn on a 10-minute class. After that, I get dressed, and even put on makeup! Man, I feel like a woman. I balance this out by running out of time to eat breakfast. Oh well.
9:10 a.m.
Work! I left a pear here, so that’s my breakfast.
10:00 a.m.
Joining the algebra class again. They’re learning the formulas for horizontal and vertical lines and I actually remember this! But my office neighbor is here and in a hearing, so I keep the volume down low.
12:10 p.m.
Lunch! More leftover spaghetti squash. It was a huge squash and I’m getting as many meals out of it as I can.
12:39 p.m.
After three and a half days, I finally finish medical record review in one case. Time to move onto medical record review for a different case. There are more records in this one.
2:45 p.m.
I’ve gotten through two hundred more pages, so I go make some matcha. I keep a jar of matcha green tea latte mix from Trader Joe’s at work so I can make that whenever the mood strikes.
3:30 p.m.
Not so embarrassing confession: I still play Pokemon Go. I rarely spend money on it, but I don’t have a remote raid pass, so I put up the ninety-nine cents to get it.
$0.99
6:00 p.m.
I work until 6, at which time I have therapy. I stay at my office for therapy, because I’m too lazy to drive back home beforehand. We talk about the holidays, fears, my parents, and continued burnout. I resolve to talk to my husband about not going to his family’s for Thanksgiving.
7:00 p.m.
Therapy’s done, so I pack up and go home. I leave my work laptop at work because I need to be better about boundaries.
7:30 p.m.
My friend wanted to do a ride together on the Peloton. I let her pick, which was a mistake. She chooses an Alex Toussaint ride and we nearly die. While we ride, I ask my husband to peel sweet potatoes and press tofu. I should have asked him to press tofu earlier, but I didn’t figure out dinner until an hour ago.
8:00 p.m.
I boil the sweet potatoes and start making sauce for the tofu. Sauce is miso, fig jam, peanut butter, soy sauce, and honey. *Chef’s kiss* I also boil some ears of corn. Once I mash the sweet potatoes, I grab a mandarin and juice it. This is the best dinner I’ve made in ages. Baked tofu with miso sauce, sweet potato mash with orange juice, corn, and salad. I’ve peaked. While we eat, my husband and I talk about the holidays. He has students in person again, aside from the online classes, so he can’t realistically isolate anymore. His parents are older, and his brother just had a baby. We know his family really wants to see us, but it’s just not safe. The US just hit 150,000 cases today.
We make the call to my mom first, because we had previously discussed taking my 14-year-old brother. My parents are not very celebratory this year (heyo therapy), so we wanted to make sure he was fed. My mother understands. This was the easy call to make.
Then we make the call to his mom. We express our concerns, and she is much more understanding than I thought she would be. We also mention that Christmas will likely not be possible, but we know this will be a longer conversation to have with her later.
Finally, my husband calls his aunt. That conversation is not as chill. Biggest thing is that she assumed I don’t want children because of my career and that women can be lawyers and have kids. She did not know she was on speaker. I am LIVID.
After all these calls, I finally shower, do my nighttime routine, feed kittens, and get ready for bed.
11:00 p.m.
Bed time. Except that the big cats get all grumpy and are fighting with each other, so they keep us up for a while. UGH
Daily Total: $0.99
Friday, 11/13
8:00 a.m.
Not as rested as yesterday, not as tired as Wednesday. I’ll take it. Same old morning routine: cats, clothes, etc. Today, I remember the veggie breakfast sausages and heat two up to take with me.
9:15 a.m.
Work! I eat my veggie sausages and a plum. If you’re keeping track, that’s four different fruits this week. I also check my bank account! Payday! The foundation guy still hasn’t cashed his check though, which is annoying.
1:20 p.m.
I go heat up my lunch, which should finally finish up the spaghetti squash. As I walk around, I see that there are two other lawyers here and two legal assistants. It’s a ghost town. I’m tempted to leave. I also see that Barack Obama’s new book is about to come out, so I pre-order it.
$29.23
1:45 p.m.
Because of the ghost town status, I leave. I have errands to run and a Friday to enjoy. Regardless, I will still work at home.
2:00 p.m.
I saw a few recipes I want to try this weekend, so I pop over to Whole Foods right by the office and get the ingredients I don’t already have at home. It’s mostly specialty vegetables and fresh spices. I even buy salmon, which I almost never cook.
$78.40
3:00 p.m.
I get home and medicate the kittens, which I did not do before leaving this morning. I put away the groceries, and my husband gets home! Yay! He lays down on the sofa, and I pull out my laptop to finish working for the day.
5:00 p.m.
I finish working for the day and start a load of laundry
6:00 p.m.
I do a ride with my other friend. The theme is weird, but I get a great sweat in.
7:00 p.m.
I use the fancy ingredients to make coconut miso salmon curry and some plain rice. It is AMAZING!! Maybe this is the best dinner I’ve made in a while. Martha Stewart who? Meanwhile, my husband puts on the latest episode of the Mandalorian. I didn’t watch the first season with him, but I’ve enjoyed watching this with him. After that’s done, I finish Wow, No Thank You and start Anxious People.
11:00 p.m.
Bed time! Same old routine. We have a long day ahead of us.
Daily total: $107.63
Saturday 11/14
8:12 a.m.
My birth control alarm will never let me sleep in.
9:30 a.m.
But I do get to sleep a little while longer. However, today is my birthday party/friendsgiving and we have so much cleaning to do. I heat up some tea, and my husband makes us toaster waffles, and we sit for a little while.
To be clear, when I say party, I mean, hanging out with the same few people I’ve seen all of quarantine. There will be eight other people there aside from my husband and I, so there will be a total of 10 people in my apartment. (And five cats). I even considered cancelling this after we had to call the family and tell them we weren’t going to Thanksgiving. But I’m already bummed I don’t get to go to the Texas Renaissance Festival this year, so a small get-together is as good as it gets.
10:00 a.m.
The theme here is powerpoint party, and even though I sent out the information two weeks ago, I have not prepared my powerpoint. I spend three hours prepping my powerpoint. It is informative, it is dark, it is ready.
Well, kind of. About two hours in, I notice my laptop has stopped charging. I JUST GOT THIS CHARGER A MONTH AGO. I have known the end was coming for my laptop soon enough, but I kept trying to hold it off. My laptop is already four years old, and it would not be worth it to replace the battery. I don’t like using my work laptop for personal things, but I don’t have another option, and my husband is still working on his presentation as well, so I grab my work laptop and finish it off. Let’s see if I purchase a new laptop this upcoming week. (Recommendations are always welcome. I currently have a Dell XPS 13 Touch, and I’ll probably just get a new one of those unless a better recommendation comes along).
1:30 p.m.
We start the deep clean. I get busy in the kitchen and my husband cleans the bathroom. Vacuuming, mopping, rug cleaning, etc. and soon, our apartment is spotless.
While we’re cleaning, my mom texts me and confirms the foundation guy picked up his check.
4:30 p.m.
I still need a few more things so I shower quickly and head to Kroger to get the last things I forgot at Whole Foods. I am unfortunately out of time to work out, so that won’t happen today.
4:45 p.m.
Paper plates, cups, tin foil, and more tofu. I’m not trying to do all those dishes tomorrow.
$16.26
5:00 p.m.
I also go to Spec’s to get more alcohol. It’s the only place that has mead, and I’m trying to recreate those Ren Fest vibes as best I can.
$102.90
5:30 p.m.
Time to start cooking. Everyone is bringing a little something, so the weight is not on me to do it all. I am making vegetarian shepherd’s pie, tofu roulade, and roasted cauliflower. I’m very anxious. I’ve never been a fan of hosting parties, and COVID has only confirmed that I prefer being a homebody. Insert cooking montage here.
6:00 p.m.
One of my friends arrives early and helps me finish prepping. The roulade is not going well, which is disappointing.
7:00 p.m.
Everyone has arrived, and we start eating.
Presentations are shown, laughs ensue, and good times are had by all. Powerpoint themes:

• Poetry of Catullus (Catullus is a fuckboi)
• Crimes Each Duggar Would Commit (this was me)
• Loch Ness (by my friend who honeymooned in Scotland and is learning Scottish)
• The Republican Party’s Path To Victory (It’s a shitpost. It’s one slide and it’s Jeb!)
• Do Tapirs Exist? An Exposition (Spoiler alert: Yes)
• The Spy Kids Trilogy and Why They’re The Greatest Movies to Ever Exist (undisputed best slideshow of the night)

12:00-1:00 a.m.ish
I don’t remember exactly when the party ended, but it was a reasonable enough hour. I take my makeup off and go to bed.
Daily total: $119.16
Sunday 11/15
8:12 a.m.
Birth control alarm. UGH. I am hungover and feeling it.
9:00 a.m.
I move to the sofa so I can watch tiktoks without waking up my husband. I will not move from this spot very much all day.
We don’t really eat breakfast today, because we are still full from last night. Around lunchtime, we heat up some more food from last night.
I watch Big Mouth all day because season 4 is coming out in a few weeks. It’s just as weird and uncomfortable as I remember it being.
I also cuddle with kittens all day, and they are SO CUTE. I LOVE THEM.
7:00 p.m. ish
I finally get up to be semi-productive. I load the dishwasher and leave the pots and pans for my husband to wash later. We still ended up using all our utensils, serving spoons, and small plates for cake.
I also start dinner. We actually finished most of the food we had made yesterday at lunch. I make ramen and guss it up with shiitake mushrooms, miso (lots of miso this week), kimchi, and rice cakes. Easy, tasty, satisfying.
Around this time, I go back to my laptop. It is not charging. UGH.
After dinner, and more tv, I finally shower, and finally feel like a normal person. I read for a little while before bed.
11:30 p.m.
What a lazy Sunday. It’s exactly what I needed.
Daily total: $0
Monday 11/16
7:15 a.m.
I’m up and mostly rested.
7:30 a.m.
I get out of bed, and finally do a chore I’ve been putting off all week: repotting my money tree to take back to the office.
After that, it’s the same old morning routine: cats, plants, packing lunch, getting dressed. But today, makeup and breakfast both happen. Who is she????
Additionally, I joined a weight loss pool at work that started a month ago. I weigh myself for the weekly check-in. Despite the feast I had this weekend, I still managed to lose a pound. This is pretty consistent with what I’ve done all month. Overall, four pounds lost. I wish it would go faster, but it’s fine. I’m healthy, I’m active, and I eat well.
9:00 a.m.
Work! My money tree fell over in the car and dirt got all over the ground. Great. And the tree is falling out of its new pot. I awkwardly repot it in my car, and then in my office. Hopefully it’s okay. Otherwise, I have a specific research topic to answer, and a report due tomorrow.
I also bring my personal laptop and hope it will charge here. No such luck. I order a replacement charger AGAIN, but this time it’s free of charge. I also start doing research on how much it’ll take to replace my laptop. I do need it for tutoring, so it’s not like I can put it off much longer. There are Black Friday deals going on already. There’s also a Best Buy nearby, so I’ll go look after work.
11:30 a.m.
I eat a plum and go look at my credit card statement. I usually pay it off every two weeks, to align with paychecks, so I pay off my credit card. I note that there’s a Classpass charge on my card. I saw the email a few weeks ago and forgot to cancel. I cancel my membership, but the $60 charge is already on my card. UGH
$60.00
I also get an email confirming our Imperfect Foods order and the charge that comes with it.
$63.93
1:00 p.m.
I heat up some of the ramen from yesterday. It’s fine. Our work microwave isn’t very good. I eat a mandarin as well.
5:30 p.m.
I am almost finished with the document review in this case, but I ordered some tables for my office plants last week, and they came in over the weekend. I assemble those and arrange my plants. Since it’s my birthday tomorrow, I get to go to the plant store.
6:00 p.m.
I drive on over to Best Buy and check out the Dell selection. They only have Inspirons on display. What a waste of time. I also goofed on the way over here and had to do a big loop on the highway to get here, so I’m extra annoyed. Afterwards, I call my husband and he already knows that I’m going to suggest ordering in. He gets me.
6:40 p.m.
I get home and plop on the sofa. He wants something hearty, but I want the opposite. We find a good compromise and I put the order in.
$40.44
7:45 p.m.
Food is here! He got a BBQ brisket sandwich, and I got a brussel sprout salad. Compromise. We watch the latest Last Week Tonight. John Oliver blows up 2020 and it’s exactly what this year deserves. Trash TV and kitten cuddles for the rest of the night. Too tired to read.
11:00 p.m.
Time for bed. Teeth, face, etc.
Daily total: $164.37
WEEKLY TOTALS
Food + Drink: $310.89
Fun / Entertainment: $30.22 (book and pokemon go)
Home + Health: $0.00
Clothes + Beauty: $89.95
Transport: $0.00
Other: $60.00
GRAND TOTAL: $491.06
REFLECTIONS
Aside from the alcohol and extra party purchases, this was a pretty standard week. I have been doing better about not buying clothes when I’m sad, but I also normally buy used clothing and not a new dress for $90. I am very much a creature of habit, which I did not realize until I wrote it all out. I am excited about our financial future, and although we aren’t putting much into savings right now, I know that’s temporary.